Ordinarily, I try my best not to embarrass my kids (within reason) in my blog even though they may not agree. However, since the boy was very interested in conveying this information to me while Mrs. K was in the car, I’ve decided he shouldn’t be mad if I share this information with you as well. Though to be fair, Mrs. K does suffer some short term memory issues. Oh well…
Yesterday, the boy’s high school dismissed an hour and a half earlier than usual I suppose to give the teacher’s a jump start on their mini holiday vacation. As Mrs. K and I watched all the other students get picked up and leave, I lamented how the boy insisted I arrive on time, so he too could get a jump start on his holiday vacation, yet here we were the last car waiting for their student to emerge. When he finally made his approach while opening the car door, he threw his backpack and Ipad into the car, saying, “Sorry I’m running late Mom and I’ll explain everything as soon as I do one more thing…” Before closing the car door and took off running across campus. “My what was that?” Mrs. K asked. “I’m not sure…” I said, reveling in the fact the boy was actually voluntarily exerting energy and running. Following his movements, I watched as he stopped, appear to talk to someone, wave, smile and then turned and come running back to the car.
“Who were you waving at?” I asked. “Ernie (School custodian), I wished him a happy Thanksgiving,” He replied. “Ah” I smiled to myself. “Well anyhow, the reason I was late coming out of school is because this morning, while I was sitting in the library, A came in and went to a shelf directly behind me. “Did you talk to A?” I asked. “Yes. She pointed out a shelf full of graphic novels I didn’t even know were in there. So, I had to stop at the library after school and take three books out–which I endeavor to read over the Thanksgiving holiday break.”
“I see,” I replied before asking the money question, “How was the rest of your day?”
“Funny you should mention that…” He said which made no sense–I ask him this same question every day after school. “As I was walking down to the adoration service at the end of the day, I passed one of the men’s rooms and remembered I’d been holding my need to poo for the last two class periods. So, I stopped and took a poo.”
The boy over the years has developed a reputation for spending copious amounts of time in the loo, instead of sitting in church. Therefore having him explain his need to poo instead of attending an adoration service is par for his course.
“A poo?” I asked a little embarrassed for him. “I did hold it for two periods and after taking a fairly large poo, I realized the adoration service was in full swing and I would be a disruption entering the assembly so instead I had a very confusing discussion with the dean of students and we concluded I should sit in the main office until the service was over”. “Confusing? How? Didn’t you explain about your large dum..er I mean poo?” I asked. “I don’t think either one of us was being very clear. Regardless he okayed my waiting in the office–where I entertained the office staff”. “Will you get into any trouble for missing the service?” I asked. “No. I talked with Fr R after and he said we were cool.” He replied.
After a pause in the conversation I said, “You know, of all the big words you spring on me on a daily basis, I would have thought you could have come up with a better term than “poo” when talking about evacuating”. “Poo is the best word to use,” He reasoned. “But not to be confused with Winnie Ther Pooh” I quickly added. “No–two different subjects altogether. He replied but then added, “though, both are brown.” “Eww!” I replied and he laughed. “Bad, bad, bad bay!” I added. While all three of us laughed.