Poo by any other name…


Ordinarily, I try my best not to embarrass my kids (within reason) in my blog even though they may not agree. However, since the boy was very interested in conveying this information to me while Mrs. K was in the car, I’ve decided he shouldn’t be mad if I share this information with you as well. Though to be fair, Mrs. K does suffer some short term memory issues. Oh well…


Yesterday, the boy’s high school dismissed an hour and a half earlier than usual I suppose to give the teacher’s a jump start on their mini holiday vacation. As Mrs. K and I watched all the other students get picked up and leave, I lamented how the boy insisted I arrive on time, so he too could get a jump start on his holiday vacation, yet here we were the last car waiting for their student to emerge. When he finally made his approach while opening the car door, he threw his backpack and Ipad into the car, saying, “Sorry I’m running late Mom and I’ll explain everything as soon as I do one more thing…” Before closing the car door and took off running across campus. “My what was that?” Mrs. K asked. “I’m not sure…” I said, reveling in the fact the boy was actually voluntarily exerting energy and running. Following his movements, I watched as he stopped, appear to talk to someone, wave, smile and then turned and come running back to the car.

“Who were you waving at?” I asked. “Ernie (School custodian), I wished him a happy Thanksgiving,” He replied. “Ah” I smiled to myself. “Well anyhow, the reason I was late coming out of school is because this morning, while I was sitting in the library, A came in and went to a shelf directly behind me. “Did you talk to A?” I asked. “Yes. She pointed out a shelf full of graphic novels I didn’t even know were in there. So, I had to stop at the library after school and take three books out–which I endeavor to read over the Thanksgiving holiday break.”

“I see,” I replied before asking the money question, “How was the rest of your day?”

“Funny you should mention that…” He said which made no sense–I ask him this same question every day after school. “As I was walking down to the adoration service at the end of the day, I passed one of the men’s rooms and remembered I’d been holding my need to poo for the last two class periods. So, I stopped and took a poo.”

The boy over the years has developed a reputation for spending copious amounts of time in the loo, instead of sitting in church. Therefore having him explain his need to poo instead of attending an adoration service is par for his course.

“A poo?” I asked a little embarrassed for him. “I did hold it for two periods and after taking a fairly large poo, I realized the adoration service was in full swing and I would be a disruption entering the assembly so instead I had a very confusing discussion with the dean of students and we concluded I should sit in the main office until the service was over”. “Confusing? How? Didn’t you explain about your large dum..er I mean poo?” I asked. “I don’t think either one of us was being very clear. Regardless he okayed my waiting in the office–where I entertained the office staff”.  “Will you get into any trouble for missing the service?” I asked. “No. I talked with Fr R after and he said we were cool.”  He replied.

After a pause in the conversation I said,  “You know, of all the big words you spring on me on a daily basis, I would have thought you could have come up with a better term than “poo” when talking about evacuating”.  “Poo is the best word to use,” He reasoned. “But not to be confused with Winnie Ther Pooh” I quickly added. “No–two different subjects altogether.  He replied but then added, “though, both are brown.” “Eww!” I replied and he laughed. “Bad, bad, bad bay!” I added. While all three of us laughed.



As per my request yesterday, I had enough people post likes and favorites to give you the answers you seek. So, without further fluff, here goes…

Monday:  Chocolate Morsels…

Chocolate Morsels are tiny and semi-sweet bits of flavor. Hopefully, my daily blogs are the same.

Tuesday: Kelbasa…

Though Kielbasa is misspelled here, “Kelbasa” to me, besides a delicious polish sausage; represents the “Fighting Irish” high school my doll is choosing to attend next fall–which also happens to be located within the confines of the Polish Villiage neighborhood in our fair city. Plus, the cheer I used at the end, was one passed down to me by my mother, from when from she and my father attended the same school.

Wednesday: Cold Cuts…

If there is one thing most funerals have in common, it may well be the food served at their luncheons immediately afterward. Though I have served enough to know chicken is very popular too, cold cuts are a favorite among mourners. Not to mention, attending a funeral of a good friend can be cold for the soul and cutting as well.

Thursday Broccoli: 

When my kids were young and turning their noses up at vegetables, the one I was always able to get them to eat was broccoli, which I know for many isn’t always the case. “Pretend you’re a giant and are eating little trees…” I enforced and lo and behold, that’s exactly what they did. But what is it about broccoli that turns kids off? Flavor? Little tree comparison? The color green? Or is it something more basic, like how broccoli is comprised of beta-carotene, which is very good for you?

If you recall my blog was about how mother’s and daughters get along and the doll informing me that I drive her bonkers-annoying her all the time. So I guess you could say I’m broccoli. Not always liked, but very good for you..or rather her, even though she may not appreciate this at the moment.

Friday Bubble Gum….

My friend Cathie told me Friday, she loves “the boy” blogs because she finds him to be hilarious. I do too. What do you associate with fun, sweet, happy (boys) days? For me, I chose bubble gum. Perhaps this has more to do with the fact that once the boy’s braces were removed last month, the first place we stopped was to buy him some bubble gum and popcorn. Not the healthiest of things mind you, but after 3.5 years without those things I figured a little indulgence wasn’t a bad thing.


On a side note….in the last three days, I’ve had three basic strangers approach me about the boy. A little nervous once I agreed that “Yes he is my son…” and then braced for impact, only to hear “Your son is the nicest, sweetest boy”.

Always nice to hear his sister proved wrong…



So last week every blog had a title that correlated to a food item(s) and I challenged a few people out there to figure out why. Some not wanting to think too much came right out and asked me while others, well I guess they figured I’d answer the question for them eventually kept silent. And I the very best case, my sister Ann Marie asked me if I had too much time on my hand creating puzzles for my readers.  So if you are interested in knowing why…let me know via a “like”on FB or a”ask me” on Twitter or “comment”on WP. Otherwise, like I used to say when younger, “Moving right along…”


The boy’s high school football team Friday, won in dramatic fashion (double overtime) no less, the regional championship over a team they had lost to at the start of 2015 season. Saturday morning while I was working out, the boy entered the living room and I announced they had won. “I knew they would!!” He shouted happily. “What?” I asked, not because of his “psychic” ability but rather because I was a bit surprised by his apparent happiness about a game he routinely tells me he hates. “I knew the other team would lose because I had cast them in the mold of evil empire. My school were the good guys, so of course good wins over evil!”

“Um, I don’t know about that…” I said trying to wrap my head around what he said. “Well at least in my world, good wins over evil”. He elaborated.  Sitting on the couch pretending to be invisible, the doll looked at her brother and asked, “Geeze Boy, ever live in the real world?” “Doll!” I scolded, but the boy quickly replied “Why should I when mine is more interesting?” “Says you…” she quickly replied. “And I should know!”

Alright alright!!” I said trying to break up their arguing. “I just wanted to tell you the good news about the game not listen to the two of you argue…” Just then, they both looked at me like I had three heads and said “We’re not arguing…”

In defense of the dark arts (otherwise known as CLAP-Children’s Logic Against their Parents) I went back to working out and ignored them both.

bubble gum…


On the ride to school this morning, I conducted a brief interview with the boy concerning my merits as a blogger in capturing just who he and the doll really are. Here is a snippet of what I can remember from the conversation.  

Caveat: He’s hilarious and I had a difficult time hearing everything he said over our shared laughter  throughout much of the “interview”.

Me: “Because you and your sister have been so routinely boring this week, I’m forced to resort to drastic measures to come up with an interesting blog, so answer these questions, for me please”.

B: “Since my Spotify ended, what choice do I have?”

M:  How do I rank, in your eyes as a ‘blogger”.

B: Eh, adequate.

M: Do I present a clear and concise representation of who you truly are inside the blog?

B: No, misrepresentation is the better word. You fabricate things all the time.

M: I wouldn’t say fabricate as much as I would say “take poetic license” with a few things…is that fair?

B: Mom, sometimes you all out lie–but that’s okay. When writing an entertainment blog, in order to bolster your appeal, there are needs to exaggerate your characters in order to make their boring existence more likable.

M:. Are you telling me you live a boring life?

B: Not me, the doll, though…whew!

M: Don’t let her hear you say that…

B: Since when does she ever listen to what I have to say?”

M: Good point. Now where were we, oh yeah, I don’t agree with your assessment or word choice, for that matter, But for the sake of argument, let me ask, are you okay with–as you put it, “my exaggerations” when it comes to you?

B: Yes.

M:  So you don’t mind me writing about your “boring” life in my blog?

B: Not at all. In fact,  I rather enjoy being seen as a cartoon character for the middle-aged women/mothers who make up your target audience.

M: What? (choking on laughter here) Cartoon? Huh?

B: Cartoon characters is how you’ve written the doll and I, over the years. But that’s okay…”

M: Caricatures yes, but I wouldn’t go so far as calling you cartoons….I mean heck I can barely draw a straight line.

B: Well there you go. You answered your own question…

M: Huh? What are you talking about?”

B: By your own admission, you can’t draw a straight line–thusly, that explains why the doll and I are so crookedly written in your blog.

M: Bayyy… And, hey, on occasion, there are men who read my blog…

B: Few and far between. Besides, they’re related to you or in a really big need of some bad comic relief.

M: Anything else you would like to add?

A. I looovvvee you…

M:  Yeah yeah, get out of my car and go to school. 




“As a matter of fact yes, and while there I had a nice conversation with J’s mom,” I replied to my doll, after she asked the all important question, “Did you do something different to your hair?”  At first she barely acknowledged my reply, only slightly nodding as if uninterested, before she nonchalantly asked, “So what did you two talk about?”

“Gotcha!” I thought to myself and then tried to reply without sending any red flags her way.

J’s mom, Alicia, happens to own the hair salon where I get my quarterly cut and color. She also happens to have a daughter, “J” who up until a little over a year ago, attended the same school and was in the same class with the doll. “We talked about where you and J are going to school next year…” I replied. “Oh yeah?” She asked, not looking up from her homework paperwork. “I told her you were going to be an Irish”. “Where is J going to attend?” She wondered. “Her mom wants her to be an arrow, but J would prefer to be an Irish too”. “I can totally see her there too!” She replied. “Yes, her mom is determined to send her to an all-girls school, though–which is causing some friction between them,” I added.

Again, the doll slightly nodded her head in reply.

“She also told me that J is driving her nuts fully acting the part of a teenager and butting heads with her. I told her thankfully, you and I seem to get along fairly well and so far, your teenage behavior hasn’t been too bad”. “In other words you lied to her,” She quickly replied. “No. No, not unless you know something I don’t…” I returned. “Mom, I must be a world class actress if you don’t notice the friction between us. I mean seriously, you annoy the heck out of me”.

Trying not to laugh I looked over at my daughter and said, “Oh that? Well, honey, the feeling there is mutual, I just choose to look at this differently. I mean I have a blog to complain about you in…” I said and then winked at her before adding, “Besides, if I didn’t annoy the HELL out of you, I wouldn’t be doing my job as your mom, now would I?”. Shrugging her shoulders, she said, “Perhaps.”

“Oh, and doll? Every morning when your alarm clock rings for two hours…and then you yell at me for being late? That’s annoying as hell to me..in addition to your utter lack of cleaning up after yourself and general disregard for your brother’s feelings and…” Holding her hand up toward my face, she said, “STOP! Got it mom…” in an annoyed tone.

“See…we get along great!” I said with a smile.

Without looking at me directly, she shrugged her shoulders in reply, before going back to homework and trying her best to ignore my presence in the room.






cold cuts… 


This morning I found myself inside a church  on the other side of town, I had never been to. Seated to my left was Mrs. K., whose friend’s funeral mass we were there to attend. Yesterday, after reading the woman’s obituary in the newspaper, Mrs. K continuously asked me if I would be able to escort her the service. At one point,  I even hid the newspaper to try and stop her from obsessing about the funeral. But remarkably she’d pull the paper out and ask me again, “Could you take me to this funeral?” Taking a deep breath, I replied, “Yes!” again. “I think I’m losing my mind,” she confided after about the 488th time she asked; following  a hint of exasperation heard in my reply. “Darlin’ you’re not losing your mind per se, you’re just fixed on the intent to go. Let me assure you, I will pick you up tomorrow and take ou there, okay?” Giggling she thanked me for my patience with her and then waited another five minutes before asking me again.

“Have you ever been inside this church?” I asked, already knowing  what her answer would be. “No”. “Me either. My mom always said if you enter a church you’ve never been to before, make a wish on top of your prayer…so make a wish…” I explained and then did so myself.  “If I ran into anyone of these people on the street, I wouldn’t recognize a one of them,” She said aloud to herself. I couldn’t help but laugh because the moment we entered the church she’s been inundated by people coming over to give her hugs, thanking her for coming and to ask how she’s doing. “Well from the looks of things, you don’t need to remember anyone–they all remember you.” I began and then paused for a moment before continuing, “Obviously you’ve made a wonderful impression on all of them at some point in their lives–and their mother’s. Gives you a hint all the people out in the world who hold you in such high esteem.” “Oh Marsha, your flattery will get you everywhere!” she laughed and I smiled.

Just over an hour later, after dropping her off at her home, she thanked me again for hanging out with her that day. “Have a nice lunch…” I said turning to leave. “You must find me terribly muddled. I see no reason to think about much of anything anymore,” She explained. “Considering all the dumb things out there to think about…” I began and smiled. “Exactly!” she said in return before waving me off for the day.




The doll has made her decision.

After carefully considering her top two school choices for next year, she confided in me where she plans on attending high school in the fall of 2016.

At first, I wanted to cry. Bowing my head and shaking it back and forth I asked, “Are you sure…?”

“Yes”. She replied.

“I can’t talk you out of it?” I tried.

“Well, let’s go to the open houses so I can put all doubts to rest…” She suggested.

Two weeks ago we attended the open house at my Alma Mater, which also happens to be where her brother attends school. After given a complete tour we stopped in to take a look at what types of clubs were offered at the school. There she ran smack dab into her brother, who was doing his best to interest folks in the Anime club, except when he spotted his sister. Then he changed course and began trying his best to embarrass her. “Bay, let’s not give her reasons to attend elsewhere!” I scolded while he just laughed and carried on.

This past Sunday we walked into the all girls school and the doll seemed very relaxed. Our tour guide happened to be involved in just about every extracurricular thing which made her very knowledgeable on a wide variety of subjects. She made a point of asking the doll where her interests lie and did her best to show her everything the school had to offer her.

After our tour concluded as we walked to the car, the doll turned to me and said, “Yep, I know where I’m going next year…”

Dreading to hear the answer–not because one costs more than the other, but rather because I like my Alma Mater and getting her to school with her brother would make my life a little easier; I said, “So, are you a baby eagle or a baby Irish?”

Smiling and adding a little blush to her cheeks she announced, “I’m going to be a baby….”

oohsa sa sa oohsa sa sa hit em in the head w/a pound o’ kelbasa!!