”Mom, how am I supposed to clean the dishes in the sink without dish soap?” the doll called me at work to inquire. “Oh, yeah, I forgot. I’ll buy some soap on my way home…but in the meantime you can add a little bit of water to the soap bottle to pick up some of the soap residual.” “Uh, right mom” came her response in such a way as to tell me, “Sure, like I’m going to do that”. True to my word, on the way home I stopped and purchased a new large bottle of dish soap, making a point of showing the doll, so she would no longer have an excuse.
The next morning while at work the doll called to inquire about the new bottle of soap. “Mom, how do you open this bottle of soap?” “Lift up the top….or get your brother to lift the top” I said. “I’ve been trying for a long time and I can’t get it to, oh wait, there it is, the boy opened it for me…” “Okay, anything else going on?” “No, except the boy is driving me insane…” “Well that’s par for the course doll” I said before hanging up.
When I arrived home, I was happy to see all the clean dishes in the drying rack, waiting to be put away. However there were bubbles sitting not only in the sink drain, but in the disposal drain as well. When I ran the water trying to disperse them, more bubbles grew. Glancing up I noticed that newly purchased bottle of soap was more than half empty. “Doll, um, get in here please…” I said. Noticing the urgency of my voice she responded with a “Yes Mother…?” Yes Mother indeed. The doll only calls me “mother” when she’s trying to muster up an “innocent” sounding voice. “Dear god, how much soap did you use?” “I used that new bottle, see?” “Are you aware a bottle of soap usually lasts like four months…a little goes a very long way?” “Well, apparently that’s what you get for making me wash the dishes….” She said and walked out of the room.
Somehow I knew this would be my fault…