Wednesday morning banter between the doll, the boy and Me. Thank goodness Christmas Vacation starts Friday.
Me: Boy, is that the shirt you were wearing yesterday?”
Boy: Yes.
Me: Take it off, put on deodorant and find a new shirt.
Boy: But I like this shirt.
Me: Okay, but no one else will like you…Please, change your shirt.
Me: Doll! Hurry up it’s almost 8 O’Clock.
Doll: I AM UP MOM JEEZE!!!
Me: No need to yell at me; please get dressed.
Doll: I AM GETTING DRESSED!!
Me: “Yes Mother, I am getting dressed.”
Doll: “MOM! JEEZE I SAID I WAS GETTING DRESSED. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?”
Me: I would like you to say, “Okay mom, I’m getting dressed”. Not the attitude driven screech I received.
As I finished my reply, I was transported back into time, where my own mother stood in the doorway to my bedroom as I screeched at her for roughly the same issue. The nut evidently didn’t fall far from the tree….
A few minutes later…
Doll: We’re having reconciliation at school today. I can tell you mine will have to do with a certain brother
Boy: What? I’m a great brother.
Doll: Hardly
Boy: Mom did you hear what she just said?
Me: When you go to reconciliation you can talk about your sister in response.
Boy: Nah, that would insinuate that she’s important to me.
The funniest part of this banter is that it sounded oddly familiar…only 35 plus years removed.
Boy: Mom, I’m leaving for school.
Me: Okay, I’m right behind you…
Doll: Don’t forget your secret Santa gift boy.
Boy: Don’t worry about me doll, I have above average intelligence…unlike my little sister
Doll: Hey!
Boy: Ah, doll I’m kidding. I know you have at least average intelligence
The boy and I were out the door heading toward the curb when the doll opened up the door and said,
Doll: Hey boy! If not slightly below….
Boy: Yep! and then he giggled.
Me: What was that about?
Boy: It’s a joke from Madagascar 3.
The boy crossed the street safely, but decided to wait for a few neighbor children to accompany him on the walk. I meanwhile turned and went back inside to encourage the doll to move a little faster.
Doll: Oh look, the boy forgot his Secret Santa present.
Me: I got them.
Walking outside, holding up the forgotten present, I shouted for the boy to return home. Turning around, he lowered his head upon seeing the present then promptly walked back toward his home. The doll meanwhile walked out of the house finally ready to walk to school with her brother.
Doll: Here’s your Secret Santa present boy…Look who has the below intelligence now…
Boy: Well, as we both know the answer to that is mom. (he smirked as he said that) She should have reminded me or grabbed it on her way out the door.
Me: What?
Boy: Nothing!
Me: Uh huh, good luck on your exams…now move you’re going to be late…both of you.
Boy and Doll in unison: Bye mom, love you!
Me: Have a great day, I love you too.
Mean Mommy's Memoir 