Ninety-eight percent of the time, my blogs are one hundred percent true. Sure there are times I may tweak a little here and there to ramp up the humor end, but all in all, they are pretty factual. Yesterday however I was called out on the carpet by my sister Ann. I had put a call into her, to verify the gerbil story she had imparted to the doll, but she didn’t get back to me until after the blog was posted. “Hey is this what happened?” I said and then read the blog to her over the phone. “Well you got Mom down, but no you are completely wrong about what happened.” she replied. “Dammit.” I returned and then began to laugh as she recalled the adventure one more time. On average I would have kept this to myself, but her story is so much better than my version that I feel it necessary to tell the real “truth”.
Dear God, kids are dumb.
Okay, so as I stated yesterday, my mom did not like animals. So as my sister walked in carrying, not ONE, but a FAMILY of gerbils into the house, my mom took one look at the cage and screamed, “GET THOSE RODENTS OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!” “But mom, I volunteered to care for them over the holiday break” Ann explained. “I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DID, GET THEM OUT OF MY HOUSE!!” Mom reiterated. Not knowing what to do, Ann Marie called her best friend Margie. Surely she would know what to do…after all, Margie’s family had a dog.
Margie, who was a few years younger than my sister, lived five houses away from us. Feeling bad for my sister’s plight, she agreed to take the animals home for the duration of holiday break, However, fearing the same parental reaction, they chose not to inform her parents of the new “pets”. Instead, they decided to hide the animals in the basement. What’s more, feeling bad that the entire family of gerbils were stuck in such a small cage, they decided to transfer the animals to an old fish aquarium stored in the basement. After finding something to cover the top of the aquarium, they left, feeling like heroes.
The next day, when the two girls went to check on the family…..they were gone. Evidently the fish tank had a hole in the bottom. Searching high and low throughout the basement they couldn’t find a trace of any gerbil. Realizing this was going to lead to getting into even bigger trouble than bringing the rodents home without parental consent, both girls swore not to tell and hoped the gerbils would come “home”.
Unbeknownst to the girls, Margie’s Dad could hear “mice” running in between the walls and brought home mice traps.
‘SNAP” “SNAP” “SNAP”
“What are these?” Her dad asked as he removed another from the trap. “Aren’t they mice?” His wife replied a bit disgusted by the dead rodent. “These are bigger than mice, but not as big as rats…” he explained.
“SNAP” “SNAP” “SNAP”
Calling a family conference to take a look at the family of rodents they had caught and killed, Margie’s dad asked them to come clean…”What’s going on here?” Caving under the pressure, Margie finally informed her parents what they had really caught and killed was Ann Marie’s Seventh Grade Class pet gerbils.
“Marsha we had to come clean and I was in so much trouble. I mean seriously, her parents were mad thinking I had influenced Margie to lie by omission. Mom was mad at the big mess I made down at Margie’s and then I had to go back to school after Christmas break and explain how the family bit the dust. God what the hell was I thinking?” she laughed into the receiver. “You were trying to get Mom, but you got yourself instead.” I replied. “Yeah, thank goodness my kids are much smarter than I ever was.
Yesterday when I recalled the story with the doll, she said, “Mom, I don’t know why your laughing, its soo sad.” Looking back at her I said, “Because it was over 40 years ago and it just goes to show how dumb kids can be, when they try to hide things from their parents….there are always consequences.” “You know, it figures you would find some lesson in this….” she replied with a laugh.
Of course I would…that’s what mom’s do silly girl….