“Mom!! What are you doing? Don’t you dare!!” The doll said in an exasperated tone. “What?” click “Don’t you…” click “…want me to preserve this date and…” click “…time so when you have a daughter you can look back and know how old you were?” I said while taking pictures. “Noooooo! Mom please, your only taking pictures for your dumb blog!” The doll argued. “Well, for posterity and a blog, this will help you when you have kids” I snarked back; taking one more shot I said “Okay, let’s get the show on the road”.
Last week when the doll and I were driving home from a volleyball game, she raised her left arm as she was explaining something. Sitting at a red light, I glanced over at her; but instead of seeing her face, I was distracted by the large numbers of hairs protruding from her armpit. Noticing that I was looking at her armpit, she immediately became embarrassed, lowered her arm and then shoved her right hand into her left armpit as if trying to hide its contents further. “Doll I think it’s time…” I said to her. “Mommy that scares me…” “What? It’s not scary, not really..” I replied. However, the look on her face told me I was a liar! “There are a couple of ways you can go about removing hair…” I began and she squirmed. “There’s a liquid you can buy which will BURN the hair off; or you can get a RAZOR and cut it off, or you can use wax” I explained. “What does wax do?” She asked. “It’s like a bandaid. You put the wax strip on and then you YANK it off and it pulls all the hair out at once” I said. “Absolutely not!!!” The doll said as she once again shoved her hands protectively into their opposing armpits. After explaining the pros and cons for all methods, she decided the razor sounded the easiest; though she was convinced she would mortally wound herself with the device.
We decided to start on her legs first. Even though the hairs on her legs are lightly colored, they are quite plentiful. “Okay first things first, wet your legs” I explained. “Okay, now you can either use lathered soap, shaving cream, or just water. Today we’re going to use shaving cream” I said as I squirted some onto her hand. Once she had completely lathered one leg I continued, “There are three danger zones on the legs…the ankles…” “There isn’t any hair on my ankle, why would you shave there?” The doll interrupted. “Just wait…” I replied watching my daughter act grossed out. “I hate growing up!” She yelled. Ignoring her I pressed forward, “Okay so ankles, the top of the shin and the knee-because it’s rounded”. “Why would the shin be so bad?” The doll asked. Using my own leg as a prop I said “Because the bones here are set like a tent, with two sides-which pitch at the front of your leg…making it very easy to cut”.
“Hiss…can’t we just forget about this?” She asked.
“Now pay close attention to the pressure and angle I use, while shaving your leg.” I continued. As I brought the razor to her leg, she shivered and said “Wait stop!!” But it was too late. I slowly drew the razor up her leg removing a line of lather and hair. “That’s it?” She asked. Handing her the razor I added “You need to remove the lather and hair from the razor–put under the water and shake it out, then go back to your leg and go again.”
In all I shaved one side of each leg and she did the other. When it came to her armpits I demonstrated on my own first and then she did the same. “How often must I do this?” She said a bit disgusted by the whole lesson. “We’re coming into the winter season and unless your wearing dresses and skirts, you can get away without shaving your legs until Spring. But, your armpits are a daily-shower thing.” I explained. “I really hate puberty!” The doll announced.
“Yep, me too!” I said under my breath.