Sometimes memories are so thick you could swear you are reliving them. At other times you wonder if the experience you long to remember was a dream, rather than a reality. Life can be so bittersweet at times.
The doll leaves tonight for a week long vacation with her cousins; to Florida. I know she’ll have lots of fun and create memories to last a lifetime. When we were first approached about the possibility of her going, the hubby and I had to think long and hard before saying yes. It’s not that we don’t trust my brother and his wife, we do. It’s not that we thought she won’t have a good time; she will. It IS about our level of missing our baby girl.
“Mom I just gave you a hug and kiss goodnight” the doll said after I called her back into the room. “I know, but I wasn’t prepared for them give me another one” I replied; grabbing her into a giant squeezy hug and kissing her forehead, smelling her hair, kissing her cheek, and then squeezing some more.”Mom Jeeze you’re suffocating me!” She said, tho a wisp of laughter was evident in her tone. “I’m trying to commit to memory what this feels like. You’re going to be gone for a week. I won’t get these hugs for a week…” Still squirming against my hug she replied, “I’m not leaving until tomorrow night!” As if to imply there was plenty of time to memorize these feelings”. “True, but I won’t have you here to say goodnight to…tomorrow night. It will just be the boy.” Working hard to keep the tears from escaping my eyes I finally released her after one more squeeze, sniff and kiss. Backing away from me she said “Mom your weird…but I love you anyway! Goodnight!” And then she disappeared from my sight.
Sigh. My baby girl off on an adventure–without me. Whatsoever will I do? Try my best not to miss her toooooooooooooooooooo much, knowing all the while how impossible a task that will be.