confusing times…


Last night as the doll was preparing for bed, she approached me and asked, “When you were my age were there things you were confused about?” Sighing I replied, “There still are doll”. “No, mom, I mean at. my. age, You know like with friends…like knowing who your real friends are or those you’re friendly with, but not really friend friends?” Shaking my head up and down I said “Yes”. “I mean I know who my friends are…my group, because I’m in that group…” She began to explain.  “Let me ask you this….do you try to get along with all the girls in your class?” “Yes….but there are a few that we don’t really socialize together”. She said. “Doll, comparatively speaking, I have a lot of friends. Some of which I socialize with often–Missy and Emma….and then others who I don’t see as often. To me, I don’t consider them any less friends…just friends in a different way. I am always happy when I see them and genuinely interested in what they have to say…but that doesn’t mean I have to hang out with them all the time.”

She looked at me like I had three heads. Thinking for a moment about her initial question I asked, “Are you worried that you failed to invite someone to your sleepover?” “You said I could only have six girls spend the night….” she explained. “If you would like to ask the other girl, go ahead.” I replied. Looking at me oddly, I raised my hand to quell her reply and added, “I mean really doll, what’s one more? My question here is…does she get along with the other girls?” “Yes, she gets along with everyone. But today she told me at school I’m her only real “true” friend…” Considering she’s always spent the night on your birthday, I can see why she believes that, I thought to myself.  “How did that make you feel?” I asked the doll. “I don’t know…weird! I mean, we’ve been best friends for a few years, but we haven’t been hanging out a lot lately…so….why does this have to be so hard?” 

“Friendship at any age is hard, but it doesn’t have to be. Honestly, you just keep on being the nice girl you always were and you shouldn’t have any problems. Believe me when you get older and look back, you’ll realize having many friends instead of just one or two is the best way to go. So tomorrow, during the snow day, call and ask her if she’s free Saturday night for a sleepover…which you and I still need to plan…” I finished. “Oh I know….and thank you Mom.” 

She stood to leave the room and then circled back round to me; stopping to give me a hug and then kissed the top of my head. “Oh and doll…” I said reaching out to keep her from leaving just yet, “As far as friends go….you can never have too many, okay?” Giving me another hug she finished with “Goodnight” and went off to slumber. Leaving me to ponder…

Dear God!!! Seven 12 year olds on Saturday night and the cowards (dad and boy) will be sleeping at Grammy’s. What a long night (of fun) we have a head of us…



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