musings from a twelve year old doll….


The doll has been talkative as of late, telling me all about stuff happening in school-most specifically during recess. I can tell you from her point of view, school is simply an exercise in hilarity. “Mom, Alan asked if he could take his milk carton and sandwich bag outside and stomp on them, and Mrs. A–the most awesome teacher in the world–said he could, so we all crammed in around the windows and watched him.” “Okay….” I replied, not really knowing where this conversation was headed. “Well one the boys began to say “Where’s the humanity?” While Alan was trying to pop the milk carton which made us girls turn and give him an odd look”. “Why?” I asked wondering if that was an appropriate response. “Because mom, they’re weird”. “The boys?”I asked again confused. “Of course boys-weren’t you paying attention?” “Um..hmm.”

“Oh and yesterday all of us sixth graders were assigned to watch the kindergarten and first graders when they came to the gym yesterday and there were a million of those little kids…” “Are you sure your numbers are accurate?” I asked. Giving me a droll look she replied, “Sure felt like it; I mean we were terrified when they all came in and it was just the 6th grade–well the 5th grade was there too, but they didn’t really help. Well anyway,  then la la la la la la they seriously multiplied. Sarah and I were certain we were going to be crushed. When did little kids become so terrifying?” She finished. “Well you haven’t taken the baby-sitting class yet. Once you do they won’t seem so terrifying”. I assured her. “I don’t know mom…they multiplied right before our eyes….I don’t think all the preparation in the world could have helped us.” She said with a smile.


Random thoughts…

Why do people like to say “like” in front of other words?” She asked me. “Like I don’t know…” I replied. Giving me a serious look she said, “Mom, no-just don’t. No.” Smiling back at her I asked, “Any additional random thoughts?” She added, “Why are pineapples yellow on the inside?” Not having an answer for her I replied with a question myself “Why not yellow?” Dipping her head as if in agreement she replied, “Exactly.”

Turning her attention back to the TV noise,  I commented, “You know those baskets of clothing have been sitting there for two days-waiting to be folded…. “I am a lousy folder…” She said aloud. “Yes but doll, those clothes won’t fold themselves…and since they are sitting right here in front of you…” “Mom!” The doll interrupted my lecture. Stopping I looked at her and said “What”?  “I never said I wasn’t going to eventually fold the laundry, only that I’m a lousy folder…” She explained. “You know, the best way to improve upon your folding is to do more of it…” I suggested. Shrugging her shoulders she chose to ignore the baskets once more and finish watching her television program.

The doll’s saving grace?

Mary Alice, who enjoys folding laundry on Wednesday afternoons.




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