I’m not sure why, but in the world in which we inhabit, there are a few universal truths we ALL share-whether we want to or not. Death and taxes aside, the biggest truth my children fail to realize or care to acknowledge is that bugs are the real occupiers of the earth and we, mere humans simply live in their world. “What in the world?!?” I yelled as the boy almost ripped the backseat passenger door off their hinges, in the attempt to escape his confines. “Mom there was a bug!!” the boy yelled a midst a stream of expletives”. “Bay, did you honestly have to almost break my door in your escape?” I asked the boy who replied, “Yes, yes I did! “You do realize it’s their world, right and we simply live with them in their world…?” I said as he removed his shoe and began to whack at the poor bug trapped in my car. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it” the boy replied, as he captured the bug carcass in some tissue, and disposed it in the garbage can.
“Mom guess what I did…” The doll began. “Devised a plan for world peace?” I replied. Stopping short and crossing her arms about her chest she returned a look that said, “Couldn’t you for once just say ‘what’?” Smiling back at her I snarked, “What? You said guess…” Rolling her eyes oh so high she answered first with “Whatever mom” before adding, “No, I caught one of those centipede thingie ma boppers and released him outside”. Her brother, who harbors no love lost for those creatures; added, “I helped. I spotted it walking across the carpet and the doll grabbed the tissue.” “So the two of you worked together? Do Wonders ever cease?” I laughed. “Believe it or not Momma, the doll and I can work for a common good-even if releasing that centipede into the wild effectively signed it’s death warrant, the doll and I can accomplish stuff together”. The boy explained. “Why didn’t you just release it back into the basement?” I asked-knowing full well I liked the outside release much better.”Don’t be gross mom!” the doll replied.
“So doll, let’s see if I got this right…you and the boy captured a centipede in the living room–a bug with like a thousand legs and you released him outside?” Standing before me quite proud of herself she replied “Yes”. Smiling back at her, I replied, “That is so cool…I suppose that’s how you will treat spiders from now on too, I mean they only have eight legs and all…” The doll looking back as if she’d been slapped, turned and screamed “NO WAY MOM!! STOP BEING GROSS!!” “But, but what about Charlotte’s web…?” I yelled, as she backed and turned away from me, disgusted I would ever suggest she save the life of a spider. “Mom, Charlotte’s Web, while a good story; is fictional, thank goodness! Spiders in general are just….something that needs to be squashed? Laughing at her eloquence I asked, “So what you’re telling me is, the best kind of spider is the one found on the bottom of your shoe?” Sizing me up and down she replied, ‘No, your’s”.
With that, she turned and walked away, while all I could do was laugh.