Real life


I was standing in a friends garage the other night visiting when my cell phone rang. “Yes” I replied to the caller, my doll. “Mom I’m about to explode!!” She said into the receiver. “Literally or vehemently?” I replied. “What does that mean?” She asked. “Are you really going to explode into a thousand pieces or do you just feel like screaming?” I replied and could envision her eyes rolling as we spoke. “I really want to scream! There is stuff happening over at PC (Pic Collage) which makes no sense!” She said in a frustrated tone. “Why don’t you?” I asked. “Oh that’s all I need, the boy in my grill wondering why I screamed”. She said in reply. “Doll, grab the dog and let her out back…while she’s doing her business you can so yours–get it?” I explained. “Oh…” She began before I finished, “I’ll be home soon and we can talk about it…” “Okay” she replied before hanging up.
Earlier in the week the doll informed me one of the “girls” she had been talking with on Pic Collage turned out to be a boy. When I arrived home I entered her bedroom and asked how she was doing. “Oh I’m okay now…it was a huge misunderstanding.” She said. “Elaborate please?” I replied. “Mom it’s no big deal…” The doll tried. “No that doesn’t work. You called me ready to scream in frustration at this board. Now spill…” I demanded. “Well there has been a lot of fighting and bullying on the board lately and people who I talk with are leaving for good-to get away from it all. I thought one of the peeps I like to talk with was leaving for good, but she was just going out to dinner.” “Sounds like a lot of contrived drama to me” I said. “I used to belong to the Soapnet message board…” I began before she interrupted with a laugh. “A soap what? Who does that mom?” She laughed mockingly. “You have you sites, I had mine…” I said before moving on. As I began to dispensing advice, I noticed she had become more interested with what was happening online, rather than what I had to say. Annoyed I reached out and snatched her iPod out of her hand and walked away.

“GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK!! She screamed and began slapping at my hand. “No” I replied and switched hands before depositing the iPod into my front pants pocket as she began to yell “THATS MINE! GIVE IT BACK!” While she continued to slap and hit at me. Finally I turned around and yelled “BACK OFF” before walking out of her room to her shouts of “I should have never told you a thing!! You’re the worst mom ever!!!!
A half an hour later, once we had both calmed down she asked, “May I please have my iPod back?” “No” I replied. “I hate you!” She returned with a pout. “I hate this behavior of yours” I informed. “Doll I took this from you because you called me away from visiting with friends, seeking my advice and then you rudely dismissed me by making this…” I said holding up her iPod. “… more important than me”. “Oh” she said adding a “Sorry” for good measure. “Are you willing to listen now?” I asked. Seeing this as a means to getting her IPod back, she quickly nodded yes and I began. “I used to belong to the Soapnet message board, very similar to PC. There I became good friends with many people and often looked forward to talking with them every night. But I came to realize the people online aren’t ‘real-per se” “Wait, what about Lauren?” She asked. That’s different; I met Lauren through Twitter-but that’s not the point. What I mean by real doll, is those friends you interact with everyday in your real life off the internet. You and me sitting here talking is real life. You talking with others about your moms on PC isn’t do you understand?” I said. She nodded but not in a convincing manner. “You became really upset and frustrated over the actions of a few people you don’t even know!” I exclaimed. “I know them!” She replied. “Really? What city do they live in? What school do they attend? How many children do they have?” I fired off rapidly. “Why would they have children?” The doll asked rolling her eyes. “My point is…do you really know much about them other than the few crumbs of information they’ve let slip?” “No.” She answered. “Then why are you allowing their online antics to get you so upset? How do you know they weren’t just trying to shake the board up because they were bored on a Friday night?” “I don’t” she replied in a small voice” “Exactly! You don’t. PC may be fun, darlin’ but it isn’t real life. Please keep PC in perspective….please.”

We talked for a while longer and once satisfied she understood, I returned the iPod to her. “Thank you Mom”. She said and I replied under my breath, don’t make me regret it.



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