the interview…..

Standard

I conducted an interview of my children the other night…not because I was curious to see where their heads were at (although that was a nice perk), but more as an exercise in fun–or for the lack of any other reason, we were all bored…

Q. Tell me one thing about yourself that many people don’t know….

D: I overthink everything. In fact I’m overthinking this answer mom. Nevermind. Then again… yep forget it.

B: I have an amazing wit.

M: About…?

B: No Mom, you don’t get it…I have an a superb sense of humor–although you seem to be dense when it comes to my humor.

M: Next Question: If there were one person in the world you wish you could meet, who would that be?

D: Percy Jackson.

M: Doll, he’s a fictional character….

D: Doesn’t matter…I’d still like to meet him. In fact his new book will be released in two weeks….I’m so excited!!!

M: How about the author of the book then?

D: Perhaps…but he’s old…so…no that wouldn’t work either.

M: Oh brother.

B: John Green

M: John Green the author of The Fault in our Stars, John Green?

B: Yes, but not because of that disconsalate book, but because he and his brother host a hilarious Youtube Channel called the Vlogbrothers.

M: Is that what you do instead of studying for your classes, watch his videos on Youtube?

B: Among many many others…

M: Would you like to actually meet him or simply continue to watch his videos on Youtube?

B: Eh, the videos work just fine.

M: You do realize he actually leaves his home–goes outside…

B: Exactly. I can live vicariously through him without ever leaving the comfort of my couch.

M: Note to self, diconnect Wi-fi immediately.

B: You do realize I was joking right?

M: Disconnect wifi like yesterday!!

M: Last question: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

D: I’ll have a puppy and be going to high school.

M: Seriously…?

D: You said when I was 15 I could have a puppy…that’s less than three years from now…and I’ll be in the tenth grade…

M: Okay…anything else?

D: Jeeze Mom…isn’t that enough?

M: You have such low expectations for yourself.

D: Actually they’re quite high….but I tend to overthink them all the time…

B: I’ll be attending College out of state…

M: Really? Any clue what you’ll be studying?”

B: Video blogging….. šŸ˜‰

M: So long as you’re the one paying for school…

B: What? Wait…you and Dad won’t be paying my collegeĀ tuition?

M: Why do you think your father and I bitch so much about your grades? We’re paying for a higher quality high school education now…so you canĀ betterĀ qualify for college scholarships…because dude…upon graduation you’re on your own.

B:When were you going to tell me this?

M: We’ve been telling you all along…you just chose not to listen…

B: I guess I’ll have to rethink my position. I mean I don’t have to go to college….

M: No…but you won’t have to live here either….

B: In the words of Homer Simpson…. DOH!

And thus concluded our little Q&A session… God help the boy get into college; Ā God helpĀ the doll stop overthinking everything and God helpĀ us if the boy doesn’t go to college and the doll saddles us with a another puppy in two years.

 

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