“Momma…did you know a middle-aged pig is as smart as a three-year old child?” The boy asked as I finished lacing my tennis shoes. “Are you watching more of those “true life” videos on YouTube?” I asked. “True facts!” He corrected before adding, “And no. This is just something I’ve ascertained over my years of….” “You know I didn’t ask for an explanation. It was a simple yes or no question…” I interrupted. “Momma you do know who you’re talking to, right?” He replied with a smirk. Smiling back I said, “Note to self: remember when talking to the boy he has the propensity to become a long-winded encyclopedia…” “And you wouldn’t have me any other way…” He added with a smile. “Oh….I don’t know…” I said with a wink and a smile.
“Note to self” The boy began, “Stop giving Momma so many chances to get the last word in…”
I used to get offended (wink-wink) when the doll yelled at me in the morning. After all I was just being their mom right? No need to yell at the messenger to wake up… I thought. “Mom TURN IT OFF!! TURN OFF THAT HORRID BANGING!!“(referencing Led Zeppelin’s, Moby Dick), “I AM AWAKE LEAVE ME ALONE!!” “The only thing awake is your voice…” I would say in return. “UGGHHH!” She would say…all while still lying on her back, eyes closed, blanket pulled up to and over her head-not getting ready for school.
Then I got wise. I realized if kept badgering her…asking her every two minutes if she were awake, she may just wake up. Then if she could yell, she could formulate thought. If she could formulate thought, she could move her butt out of bed.
Now nothing pleases me more than to have the doll yell at me in the morning…
Today: After calling down to her at 6:45, 6:50 and 7:00 am to wake up, around 7:05 am, I heard in an angry tone “MOM I’M UP JEEZE!!” waft up the steps from the doll’s bedroom. I smiled to myself and uttered “Good” before turning back toward my bedroom to finish getting dressed, myself.
A few minutes later I yelled down again, “Doll are you up?” because trusting her yell on the first reply is like trusting the boy to not bother his sister that day. “MOM WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU??” She yelled up the stairs and I smiled. “Just making sure…” I replied before heading downstairs to see for myself.
Yes…yelling on school mornings is a lovely sound….