how to keep a mom away….

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The doll and I have been discussing Christmas presents that don’t cost an arm and a leg-to perhaps give to her friends. “How about you just buy them some candy?” I suggested-kind of hoping (I) to get off cheap. “Mom, really? Candy is so 5th grade” she replied. “I know…wait, how about this…?” I said before excusing myself from the room. Running upstairs to the master bathroom, I pulled out some bath gels and lotions I had been given, but never opened.  Coming back downstairs I said, “Doll, look here’s some lotions and bath gels you could give to your friends and look like a big spender.” Giving me the “You gotta be kidding” look she replied, “Why?” Lifting the cap off, so she could take a whiff of one of the items I said, “Don’t give me that look; they have never been used. In addition, if you were to walk into their store tonight, you’d see these gels and lotions for sale on their shelves.” Replacing the cap on the bath gel, I added, “See they don’t smell bad do they…?”  She nodded her head in agreement. “Why don’t you ever wear them?” She asked. “Primarily because I’m allergic to perfume. Regardless how benign the smell…I still can’t wear or wash with them” I explained. “Okay…” She replied and carried the bath gels and lotions into her bedroom.

Hmm…Maybe I will come off cheap with the re-gift I thought.

A day later…. I walked into the house and was immediately stopped in my tracks. “Honey what’s that smell?” I asked. “What are you talking about?” He wondered. I had barely stepped through the threshold of my house and was hit immediately by the need to sneeze and did. “Are you kidding me, can’t you smell that?” I questioned. “I don’t smell anything he said. All of a sudden the doll appeared in the hallway and began running toward me. She was fresh from the shower and approached with wet hair. Smiling she said “Hello Mother!!” As she drew closer, my eyes narrowed at the realization of what was happening. “You used some of that bath gel didn’t you!?!” I asked backing up. She smiled and replied, “Why yes…don’t I SMELL wonderful?” She asked sarcastically. “Doll…I told you I was allergic to that stuff…” I said in return a bit perturbed. “I know. I just wanted to see how allergic you are. You know…this is a good way to keep you away from me…” She said with a smirk.

“Oh and I love you too…” I returned as she giggled. “Could you please step away from me?” I asked and entered the kitchen while the doll followed; continuing to taunt me. “Mom are you seriously allergic to this?” She asked. “Doll..I wouldn’t have offered for you to give this stuff away if I wasn’t”. I replied. “Sowwy” she said before strutting out of the kitchen. Just then my husband entered the kitchen and said, “I can’t believe you gave her the smoking gun…” Turning to face him, the only thing I could do was say, “You-shut up!”

 

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