So much of this blog is written from my point of view…and while my husband does show up (in the blog) from time to time, he sometimes tells me he’s not well represented here. “You do realize the blog is titled Mean Mommy’s Memoir, not Mean Daddy’s; right?” I’ve said only to receive a stern look from him in return. As such, let me say…under no duress or no immediate present/reward or need to bribe on the line; my hubby, is a good dad. He’s a good sport even when the kids go out of their way to make fun of him.
When the doll was younger, every time her father was upset with her, she would come running to me, out of fear that her father was going to “kill” her. “I don’t understand how I got such the bad rap…” He wondered to me one day. “Dad, mom yells all the time, but you’re quiet–too quiet. There’s no telling what’s going on in that head of yours…” She explained. To make her feel even better he gave her a maniacal laugh in return “Bwahahahaha…”
On Christmas the doll made the point of telling me, “Mom, don’t feel left out…I got dad a gag gift, along with his real present”. “No worries doll” I replied with a laugh. When he opened the mock plaque, he looked over at the doll, still sporting dark circles of eye make-up left from the night before and said, “What? I’m easy; hardly ever offended….so long as when we leave to go to Grammy’s you continue to resemble a raccoon”. The doll laughed and said, “Yeah right dad!” Before encouraging him to try on his “real” present–an oversized Ohio State baseball cap.
The boy on the other hand likes to think of himself as taking after my husband more than me. In spite of the fact he resembles my side of the family and has inherited my loud-carrying voice, he goes out of his way to remind me, “Mom your family is very social whereas Dad’s side is just interesting.” “So, my family isn’t interesting?” I wonder… “No, but, well….” “Do your self a favor boy, don’t respond to that question…” His father advises every time the subject is broached. Good advice, which on occasion he does heed.
I envy at times, the relationship he has developed with both kids. While the boy will unintentionally insult me, he goes out of his way to insult his father, just to spark a response (which usually results in a wrestling/laughing match). My husband still has a one inch height advantage on him, yet the boy outweighs him; so their matches can be interesting. If I try to engage the boy in a similar method, he reminds me “Mom, you’re out of your league. You’re up front, loud and a yeller…dad on the other hand is quiet and dangerous-which makes him fun”.
Following dinner the other night, the doll and her father entered the kitchen and sat down, jawing each other about some nonsense. Before they knew what was happening, they became entangled in an arm wrestling match. As the doll tried her best to move her dad’s arm, they both laughed at the absurdity they were in. “Are you even trying?” the doll gushed. “I’m just holding my hand here…” He replied, which caused her to laugh more. I sat across from them, smiling, taking pictures and loving the smile he evoked from his daughter. So many of the looks she sends my way nowadays contain only eye rolls and daggers. While their interaction at the table lasted only a few minutes they continued smiling and laughing the rest of the evening.
Very much like his wife, my hubby does have flaws…but that’s another blog (or not) at another time (most likely not). But we make a good team…When I yell, he’s quiet and rational. When he’s upset, loud and appearing menacing I’m easy-going and protective. But most of all we’re loving with our children…even as they test and push us for different responses. I often jokingly call him a “coward” whenever the doll hosts a sleepover for her friends (He takes the boy and spends the night at his mother’s). Frankly, I’d rather he wasn’t around-makes it easier on me to hang with the girls…but you’ll never hear me admit that to him. He’s no coward…he’s brave.
Bravely spending a night with the boy…