How to tell if you’re almost 13…


My beautiful daughter will turn 13 on Friday. That’s right, Friday the 13th.  A few months back she began asking me what the relevance was behind “Friday the 13th” and I told her to look the information up online. Obviously I wasn’t thinking her birthday when she asked. A few weeks back I actually looked at the calendar and discovered the day and date. This was inevitable…at some point she would celebrate her birthday on a Friday. However, I never imagined her jubilee date (13 on the 13th) would land on a Friday.

For the last two weeks, she’s been chiding me about turning thirteen. “In all actuality doll, you’ve been behaving like a 13-year-old for about six months…if not longer”. I remarked. Nodding her head in agreement she followed, “I don’t want to really be thirteen…I’d like to stay a little kid a while longer”. “Truth is doll, we all feel that way…even at 50” I replied. “Oh wow, Mom,  thanks for telling me what I have to look forward to…not” she sarcastically replied.

There are a few truths about the doll that we laugh about. “How to tell if you’re almost 13:” “Really mom? You’re going to go there?” she asked and I smiled. “How to tell if you’re almost 13…you have little to no patience for your older brother”. I said. “Mom, seriously…I have never had the patience for the boy”. She tried. “Well, that’s not true. You used to want to do and share everything with him..” I explained. “What? When I was two years old doesn’t count” she replied. “Doll, there are times when you two actually get along…usually when you’re not busy yelling at him to shut up, not to touch you and not to breathe in the same room or….” I said. “Mom he’s annoying”. “Well, of course he is, he’s your older brother”. I replied knowingly. “You don’t get it mom”. She replied. “No, I don’t. Like I didn’t grow up having brother’s who annoyed me…” I sarcastically returned.

“How to tell you’re almost 13: You have no patience for your parents either”. “Well mom, that goes without saying. I’m just following the rules of a teenager”. She said. “Yes, while that may be true, technically you’re not a teenager yet…” I said. “Well, then I’ve been practicing…” she replied and smiled. Shaking my head, I laughed and said, “I think you’ve been practicing too much.

“How to tell you’re almost 13: You sound like your brother at times.” “Ugh, are you trying to pick a fight with me?” She asked. “No, you spout interesting nuggets of knowledge at your father and I–much like your brother does. It’s not a bad thing doll…” I explained. “Mom, any time you liken me to the boy makes me want to vomit”. She tried. “There are worse things I could compare you to…and one rhymes with…” “MOTHER!” she cut me off. “Be careful what you say about my bay…doll. Be careful and respectful.” “It’s just that he bugs the heck out of me. Can’t you compare me to someone else?” “Sure I can..but none would be as accurate.”

“Mom you’re beginning to freak me out…” She said. “I’m beginning to freak you out? I think it’s the other way around doll” I replied. “What?You’ve been through this once with the boy…” she said. “True…but he’s a boy…it’s different with a girl” I explained. “How?” she wondered. “Honestly, girls are further advanced than from boys. In truth, the boy is actually behavior-wise only twelve…so I plan on going through this with him next year…” I explained. “Mom you’re weird,” she tried. “Yeah, so, if that’s true, what are you?” I asked. “…and immature..” she added. “Again, doll didn’t I tell you earlier that even at 50 we wish we younger?” “Mom you’re making my future look worrisome,” she said. “Well then my mission here is done…” I remarked.

Shaking her head she then asked, “So how many girls can I have spend the night on my birthday…?” Oh brother!





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