The doll and I watched the Grammy Awards together the other night. Had I known the show was going to be on until almost Midnight, I might have rescinded my permission for her to stay up and watch the entire show. But, I will say, watching the show with someone ensconced in today’s popular culture was fun.
“What kind of music was that?” she asked when AC/DC exited the stage after they opened the show. “That’s Rock and roll baby!” I said a little unnerved she didn’t get that (considering her father and I sang along and enjoyed watching their performance) “I’d call that Classic Rock” her father added. “Tho some might classify them as heavy rock ” I shot back. “True, but Rock nonetheless” He concurred. “Most definitely” I replied. The doll, tired of watching her father and I banter back and forth asked, “Is there any other classification of rock you’d like to place them in?” she said sarcastically. As a matter of course, I maturely stuck my tongue out at her in reply.
The show played on and I found myself asking more times than I care to admit “Who’s this?” All these new bands, singing stuff with auto-tune didn’t really offer much inspiration for me. “Ugh mom, that’s Kanye West,” she remarked. “Yes…I can see the music is all about him–no one else” I remarked. “What’s that mean?” She asked. “His performance left much to be desired…” I said in return. “What is that?” her father asked. “I think that’s Sia’s wig” I joked. “Mom, I don’t get it, you know who Sia is but not Kanye?” The doll wondered. “No, I know who Kanye is, I just don’t like his music. As for Sia, yes, I’ve been listening to her for YEARS and like her music. I’m happy she’s finally getting some mainstream notice” I replied. The doll turned and said “Oh.” Quietly.
Score a point for mom…I thought.
“Who is that with Annie Lennox?” I asked. “Who’s Annie Lennox?” The doll answered the question with one of her own. “Oh my god, I’ve failed you as a mother,” I said in reply. “That’s Hozier” the doll finally rewarded me with the answer. “Who?” I asked again, distracted by the song he was playing and wondering why this was a popular song. “Hozier” she replied a bit annoyed. No matter, by the time I figured out what she was saying, he was done singing (thank goodness) and Annie Lennox had taken over. “My God, listen to her…” my husband said before adding, “Doll, pay attention because this is what real singing is all about!” “Look at that Hose guy…even he’s in awe of her performance,” I remarked. “Mom his name is HOZIER!” the doll yelled. “Whatever doll, he’s yesterday’s news. I think Annie Lennox is the next big thing…again!”
As the show wore on and we learned over and over who Sam Smith was and his Grammy-winning (annoying) song the doll began to get upset. “Where is the rest of the show? They seem to be skipping over everyone” She said. “Well, they broadcasted Song of the year, Album of the year and Record of the year…what more were you looking for?” “Where was the Rock music mom? They didn’t show the Rock album of the year…” “Yes they did…Beck won that” I explained. “Who is BECK? What about Fall Out Boy or Pierce the Veil or…” she said naming off all of her favorite bands… “I hear ya doll, they didn’t show any of my favorites either…” “Mom, it’s not like your music is good…” she added and I feigned being shot. “Oh, doll, you wound me…” I said as she laughed. “That was a dumb show,” she said as she walked off toward her room.
“The fact you thought an award show could be anything but is surprising…” I said. “I love you too mom…goodnight,” she said and I did the next best thing. I turned off the TV and went to bed myself.