dental flosss…..


Yesterday when the doll and I walked into her near-empty orthodontist’s office, we were both expecting one outcome yet left with another. Both of us were invited to sit at their consultation table as the orthodontist joined us. “What pretty hair you have, you must take after your mother…” The doctor opened. I laughed and replied, “Perhaps at one-time” Followed by, “Now my color comes out of a bottle”. Laughing with me, the dentist then added, “Well regardless, you have a very pretty color of hair” to the doll. Trying not to be embarrassed, the doll replied with a simple “Thank you”.

Then the dentist began to explain why we were there. “From the X-rays we’ve discovered you don’t have any Wisdom teeth. We don’t see this too often and on occasion they do show up late, but most times we can see signs before your thirteenth birthday. This is very good news because they won’t impede on your dental work or need to be pulled later.” The doll nodded while I noted, “I only had two wisdom teeth–on the top. My bottom ones never showed up”. Taking this as a cue, the dentist looked at the doll and said, “Looky there, another good trait you received from your mother”. Hearing too many nice things said about me in correlation to her, the doll immediately replied, “Yes and her soft teeth with their propensity for cavities”. The doctor looked a little shell shocked while I laughed and acknowledged, “Yes, you got soft teeth from me too”.

“Okay, now before we can put spacers in her mouth, she needs to have four teeth removed”.  Looking over at the doll as her face turned white, I put my arm behind her to back to act as a brace as the dentist delivered her news. “Four teeth?” She quietly asked. “Yess….” The dentist acknowledged and then pulled out the molds of doll’s teeth to explain which ones and why”. “You have the option of seeing your regular dentist and have these removed or you can see an oral surgeon. The biggest difference is the type of anesthesia they use.” Nodding I said to no one in particular, “We figured. In fact, I had teeth removed when I was a kid, in advance of braces too.” “Great another bad thing I inherited from you…” The doll quipped. Ignoring her I continued, “The difference being, I was shot up with novocaine while they removed eight teeth.” “What’s novocaine?” The doll wondered. “The stuff they give you when you have a cavity. This way you’re fully awake and aware while they yank your teeth out.”

“MOM! Stop! Now!” The doll ordered and I laughed. The orthodontist just gave us an “Oh Lord…” look which brought us back to her attention. After further discussion about the financial burden being placed before us, I signed all the proper paperwork and then waited a minute for our copies of the paperwork.

“Excuse me, could you tell me in which hospital was your daughter born?” An office worker asked. “Toledo” I replied, thinking her question had something to do with our paperwork. Instead, she laughed and said, “This is unbelievable!” Curious I looked at her and said, “What?” “I can’t believe the number of girls born at that hospital on or around the same day as my daughter that have shown up in this office over the past two days. Your daughter, 3 girls earlier this morning and one yesterday afternoon. We were all there at the same time.” She said surprised. “Well across the street and around the block from us are two classmates of my daughter, who were born the day before her, at the same hospital and we laugh all the time that we didn’t meet until Kindergarten”. The woman smiled as did the other office workers.”

“Yeah, how crazy is that?” The woman offered, which opened up a slot for me to really embarrass the doll. And as I told her later, mom’s, when given such a giant opening cannot help but follow through (it would be a sin otherwise).” Looking back at the woman I said, “Sounds like everyone had a lot of fun in May!” “MOM!” the doll said mortified “I’m outta here!” she added then turned to beat thief out of the inner office”. “The woman’s face creased with a smile of embarrassment as well before I added. “Yeah, you know, Memorial day weekend…” I said with a hint of suggestion, then laughed, before turning to chase after the doll.

Later on the car ride home the doll looked over at me and said, “Four teeth? You know that expression where people say ‘that makes my teeth hurt’?” She asked me. “Yes,” I replied. “Well, I always thought it was just that, an expression. But my teeth really do hurt, just thinking about the extractions.” “Ahh…I think it has more to do with sinuses.” I suggested. “Well my sinuses have been bothering me, but I don’t think that’s the reason my teeth hurt!” she quickly replied. Not seeing any reason to argue I simply agreed.


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