Monthly Archives: September 2015

Coffee…

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Yesterday was National coffee day, which did not escape my daughter’s notice, “Mom, how can I celebrate my favorite beverage if we don’t have any coffee in the house?” She asked me. Amused, I replied, “Considering we’ve never had coffee in the house, I would have thought you already knew the answer.” “But I just don’t get it, how can you not like coffee?” She asked me for possibly the millionth time.”It’s so good. You don’t know what you’re missing!!” She implored. “You don’t miss what you don’t know and frankly I don’t care to know coffee”. I replied.
*****

When I was thirteen, my drink of choice was not coffee, but rather the soft drink Mountain Dew, which at the time had the largest concentration of caffeine (and sugar) you could find in a beverage. While my parents drank instant coffee for their morning caffeine, I relied on sugary drinks, which in my opinion offered a better overall taste value. By the time I reached college, I imagined late night study sessions would introduce me to coffee, but instead, the only change I made came from switching over to Pepsi, when I finally tired of Mountain Dew’s over the top sweetness. I eventually quit drinking caffeinated soft drinks back in the late 90’s, leading me to where I am today-preferring only water (with a slice of lemon) on most days. Though I concede, during the winter months, there are times when I will imbibe caffeine in the form of hot tea, (a comfort food), especially when I’m not feeling well. 

******

“Couldn’t you just buy some coffee for me to drink?” The doll asked and I ignored. “Seriously mom, it’s really good!” she tried again. “Who taught you how to drink that crap? Tell me so I can stop inviting them over…” I said and she laughed. “Mom, all my friends drink coffee. In fact, all my friends parents drink it too. You’re the anomaly here.” Shaking my head, I replied, “Well they all can’t be perfect like me”. The doll began to feign choking, coughed and then laughed saying “Hardly, otherwise you’d be drinking coffee”

Everyone is a critic.
 

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coffee…

Standard

Yesterday was National coffee day, which did not escape my daughter’s notice, “Mom, how can I celebrate my favorite beverage if we don’t have any coffee in the house?” She asked me. Amused, I replied, “Considering we’ve never had coffee in the house, I would have thought you already knew the answer.” “But I just don’t get it, how can you not like coffee?” She asked me for possibly the millionth time.”It’s so good. You don’t know what you’re missing!!” She implored. “You don’t miss what you don’t know and frankly I don’t care to know coffee”. I replied.

*****

When I was thirteen, my drink of choice was not coffee, but rather the soft drink Mountain Dew, which at the time had the largest concentration of caffeine (and sugar) you could find in a beverage. While my parents drank instant coffee for their morning caffeine, I relied on sugary drinks, which in my opinion offered a better overall taste value. By the time I reached college, I imagined late night study sessions would introduce me to coffee, but instead, the only change I made came from switching over to Pepsi, when I finally tired of Mountain Dew’s over the top sweetness. I eventually quit drinking caffeinated soft drinks back in the late 90’s, leading me to where I am today-preferring only water (with a slice of lemon) on most days. Though I concede, during the winter months, there are times when I will imbibe caffeine in the form of hot tea, (a comfort food), especially when I’m not feeling well. 

******

“Couldn’t you just buy some coffee for me to drink?” The doll asked and I ignored. “Seriously mom, it’s really good!” she tried again. “Who taught you how to drink that crap? Tell me so I can stop inviting them over…” I said and she laughed. “Mom, all my friends drink coffee. In fact, all my friends parents drink it too. You’re the anomaly here.” Shaking my head, I replied, “Well they all can’t be perfect like me”. The doll began to feign choking, coughed and then laughed saying “Hardly, otherwise you’d be drinking coffee”

Everyone is a critic.

 

 

 

The timing is everything….

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While taking the boy to school this morning, a car pulled out in front of us which caused me to immediately press down on my breaks to keep from colliding with them, while simultaneously pressing down onto my car horn and shouting some nice obscenities at the other driver. “Why is your time so much more important than mine!” I shouted in the air at the other driver’s insistence to pull out without looking in both directions. The boy sat silent, fearing I would shout obscenities at him as well.

*******

The boy is on his own timetable which can at times make our lives feel difficult. Take for example yesterday morning when he declared he wanted to be dropped off at school by 7:15 am. That could have been doable if perhaps if he hadn’t dropped his declaration at 6:55 am, smack dab in the middle of my morning Yoga workout. Glancing at the wall clock I replied, “Better start walking now…” knowing my workout wouldn’t be complete until long after 7 am. and on good days, with limited traffic and such, the trip to school is ten minutes long. Somehow, I was able to get him to school before 7:25 am which was felt like a victory in my book. “There is no one here yet,” The boy said with wonder before exiting my car. I then sped home, so I could get a quick shower before I had to be to work at 8:15 am.

When my alarm went off this morning, fearing he would want to get to school early again today, I decided to push my workout until the afternoon, giving us plenty of time this morning. Except when I broached him on the subject he replied, “Uh, not today, thanks”. and then went back to eating his breakfast. “Seriously? Why is your time more important than mine?” I asked annoyed at his unwillingness to move along quicker. “What? I’m eating breakfast” He replied. “So your breakfast time is more important than my overall time?” I asked, but waved off the answer not really wanting to know his reply.

*****

As I drove down my street toward home this morning, having the right of way I continued forward until a car coming from the opposite direction decided he couldn’t wait for me to drive ten feet to pass him, decided to come into my lane forcing me to stop to avoid hitting him. Raising my hands in the air as he drove past I yelled once more, “Really? Why is your time so much more important than mine?” Before continuing forward to reach my driveway, ten feet away.

 

 

the llama fail…

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Yesterday, the hubby and I, doll and her friend Nikki took a road trip to Ypsilanti, MI to walk around another apple orchard. “So the boy isn’t interested in coming with us?” I asked my hub and he replied, “Not at all”. “Okay”, I replied as we drove along. When we arrived we found the orchard was something of a tourist attraction and cost money to get in. “Did you know it was going to cost money to get in?” I asked husband as we stood there dumbfounded by the ticket prices. “Nope”. “Do you have a credit card?” I asked. “Yes…and we can chalk this up to not doing enough research,” He said as he approached the ticket booths.

A small animal feed and petting area greeted us as we entered the site. Hanging out at the edge of the fence was a rather large llama, greeting visitors and hoping we had food for him. The doll walked over and attempted to get a selfie with the llama before we moved on into the park. “Please send me that picture,” I said and she laughed saying, “Okay, I hope this isn’t par for the course today”.

IMG_1862In all honesty, we couldn’t have asked for a better early fall day. Clouds peppered the blue sky and warm temperatures surrounded us. Unlike the orchard the week before, this place was much larger featuring a corn maze, along with hay and fire engine rides, among many other attractions aimed at little kids. The girls took it all in stride and seemed happy to be outside running around and behaving like teenagers. “They had a banana purse!” Nikki exclaimed as we passed a vendor. “You don’t need it” the doll informed. “I know, but I want it!” Nikki cried out with laughter before moving on. The girls seemed to find a reason to laugh with every step we took, which brought smiles to our faces as well. “I never knew the doll to smile so much…” Her father remarked as I took note.

“Obligatory photo time”IMG_1850 I yelled as we approached the corn maze. “Mom, no. Just no.” The doll tried. “Both of you go over and stand in front of that troll” I replied. “Ugh, seriously mom?” “GO!”I urged. As I prepared to take their picture, a worker offered to take a group picture and reluctantly, we all became part of the obligatory photo. “Ha!” the doll said as her father, the last one to agree moved into the frame too.

After successfully completing all the attractions aimed at older kids, and a quick bite to eat, we made the decision to leave. On the whole, while the orchard wasn’t exactly what we were expecting, we still had fun. In addition, I got the majority of my daily 10,000 steps while enjoying the beautiful day spent with my family (YES!) Later, at home, the doll sent me IMG_1881her llama photo saying, “Mom, you can title this one Llama fail,” she said and then laughed. Opening the photo, I laughed too, knowing the llama fail wasn’t really a fail at all.

It sucks to be a girl…

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She has had braces now for four full days and she’s ready for them to be removed. Her older brother, still esconsed in them, when asked how long the pain will last, replied, “Gor however long it lasts”. “Really? For once you couldn’t be considerate?” She shouted back to which he replied, “Everyone is different with different pain levels. How am I supposed to know yours?” “Grrr!!!” She replied.

“Mom I’m ready for me to be done with this experiment” She has told me several times every day since she got them. “I know” I always reply along with giving her a pat on the arm or head in consolation. Yesterday she told me “They don’t inherently hurt any longer, except when I bite down”. Seeing this as good I replied in kind. “I don’t understand why putting these wires on hurt so much”. She said. Giving her a funny look I replied “Doll, they are already beginning to work, aligning your teeth.” “What?” “Yes and for three days out of every month they will hurt”.

As what I said began to sync in she looked back at me horrified, first and then became mad when everything synced together. “You mean I’ll have mouth pain and period cramps once a month?” “Sometimes even at the same time…” I added. An appalling look crossed her face as she yelled, “That’s no fair! God it sucks to be a girl!!” Trying not to look amused I replied, “Perhaps, only being surpassed by being a boy.”

This morning as we passed one another she said to me “I hate braces!” Nodding I said “So noted”. While she mumbled to herself, “I’m so ready for this to be done.”

Being 16….

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Recently on Facebook, a few of my friends and I have been playing games that make guesses about you, based upon your profile picture. The latest one I played this morning, “How Old Do You Look?”  said I looked to be about sixteen years old–which besides being a bit offensive to me,  I suppose would come as a huge shock to my sixteen-year-old son. Shortly after reading the response, however, a conversation I had with the boy on his way to school this morning, flooded back and made me remember why being 51-years old is so much more preferable than being sixteen–puberty notwithstanding.

“How’s the writing going?” I asked him as we drove along. This year he’s taking Creative Writing and enjoying the class immensely. “Eh, I really like what we do in there”. He replied. “Has anyone heard what you’ve written?” I asked, instantly jealous because he won’t let his father or I ever read what he writes. “Yes and you’ll be surprised to find out they seem to like my ideas”. “I don’t know why you would think that. I would love to read your stuff…” I said in reply. “Okay, perhaps I phrased that wrong, but evidently I have really good ideas, like the story I’ve been trying to flesh out lately. The problem is I’d have to go to work for DC comics.” “Write a good story and send it to them,” I said, before adding “who knows maybe you could start a collaboration…” “I don’t think it would be that simple” He replied. “Okay, then tell me what you’re thinking…” I tried, hoping he would elaborate. “Well remember the Martian Manhunter from the Justice League comics? I think all the fallen heroes from those comics could come together and solve other people’s problems, like by opening a PI business”. Thinking about his premise I replied, “The idea sounds interesting and I’m serious, write a story and submit it to DC comics and see what they think”.

The car became quiet while he thought about what I said. Then he changed the subject entirely by saying, “Oh and there is this really cool song I like to listen to when I’m writing. It’s funny, irreverent and has a great beat,” He explained. “Oh yeah? What song is that?” Revealing a broad smile he replied, “It’s called “Everybody Shut Up, I Have an Erection!” I smiled, nodded my head with amusement and waited for him to continue. “You’re not going to say anything?” He asked. “Sounds exactly like something a sixteen-year-old boy would listen to. Besides, I’m just happy you like Led Zeppelin too”. Still wearing his broad grin he proudly declared, “Exactly and after all I am a sixteen-year-old boy!” “Yes, you are” I replied as we turned into the school parking lot.

“You surprise me sometimes mom,” The boy said as he began to get out of the car. “Yeah? Well, I love you buddy bay, have a great day at school”. “I love you too mom…” He said before closing the door behind him and walking into the school.

For those curious to know about the obnoxious song the boy quoted, feel free to press the link above. The boy did tell me the lyrics are “self-centered” take that any way you’d like. 

apple of my eye….

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IMG_1808The other day, my hubby was in the mood for a walk in the woods. Seeing neither his daughter nor I were interested in said walk, he changed his mind and decided to use our stomachs as a way to get what he wanted. “I was thinking we could go out to an apple orchard” He began, “There’s a cool one up in Ypsilanti, or maybe we could drive over to the off Airport highway…?” I shrugged my shoulders, not really giving it much thought and went about getting dressed for the day.

By the time I made it downstairs, I found my doll excitedly getting dressed. “What’s got you so motivated on a Sunday morning?” I asked. “PIE” she smiled back at me. “Oh, I see…” I replied finding her father across the room. “You surreptitiously went above my authority and directly to the doll’s want for “pie”, to get her to agree with you?” “Yes!” was his only reply. “Mom we’re not passing up an opportunity to get pie. You’re either with us or against us”.

Oh, brother.

It’s not that I was against going to the apple orchard mind you, but rather, why go to an apple orchard if no one in my house will eat apples? The boy tells me every time I attempt to get him to try one, “Apples get stuck in my braces and are difficult to get out”. For the doll’s part she explained, “If the spacers are making things difficult to chew,  how will the braces next week make them feel?” “What about once you get used to the braces?” I asked. “Maybe, but as hard as it is for me to admit this, I’ll probably be more like the boy too” She replied noncommittally. 

Oh, brother is right.

Regardless, the hubby got his way and we drove across town to the orchard. We were greeted with a beautiful late summer day, not too warm, brilliant sunshine and the smells of fresh baked goods coming from their orchard merchantile store. After walking around the orchard for a little while (gathering 6000 steps in the process), the hubby and doll stood in a long baked goods line and bought a fresh baked caramel apple walnut pie. From thence we drove over to Grammy’s so she and the boy could partake in our yummy confection.

Funny, though, the boy had two pieces of pie and somehow not a single apple remnant became stuck inside his braces.