If my life were a newspaper these would be some of the most recent headlines….

Processing weekly input is at dangerously low levels.  Insomnia blamed…

Since losing thirty pounds, my sleep quality has improved exponentially. Whereas before while aiming for seven hours of sleep per night, I averaged about four and a half hours. As the weight began to leave my waistline, my sleeping range expanded, gaining two additional hours, per night. This week, however, the average dropped to only five hours per night. While insomnia would ordinarily be the leading cause of sleeplessness, the real culprit lies squarely upon an uncomfortable air mattress. Hence my ability to pay attention or remember my remarkable children and family are at distressingly all time lows.

She looks messed around!

While the majority of the pain derived from having four teeth pulled has subsided, a sinus infection moved in and is playing havoc with the doll. While she toughs this out by attending school and babysitting afterward, when she arrives home she collapses on the couch, leading one observer to say, “She looks messed around”. “Why me?” She lamented in between bites of oatmeal the other day. “This will all be worth it someday…” Her mother said hoping to make her feel better, however, the look upon the doll’s face betrayed how lame she thought that remark actually was. As of this morning, she’s still milk…er, rather suffering from the effects.

Gastrointestinal distress, a developing story…

The boy feigned illness Tuesday so he could finish reading a graphic novel that was due back and his mother was too tired (see story above) to argue with him. Looking at his 6’3″, 200+-pound frame lying on the bathroom floor his mother decided, “Some days are not worth the battles, especially when I can’t pick him up”. Hence he remained home, finished the book and attended school the next day without complaint. He did, however, show his mother the new book he was reading, The Count of Monte Cristo, upon entrance to her car, following the school day. “What are you going to do for an encore when you haven’t finished this book before it’s due back?” His mother sarcastically asked. He smirked and replied, “Wouldn’t you like to know…”

Too Bad So Sad…

The doll’s babysitting gig is coming to an end Friday, due to the children transferring to another school. She’s sad but confided in me yesterday that the kids didn’t really need her there anyway–“They basically ignore me the whole time I’m there”.


Thirteen-year-old babysitter, Red Cross trained, ready and eager to help with your babysitting needs. Please don’t hesitate to ask. Contact information: Mean Mommy’s Memoir Comment section.







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