Mom’s can’t win for losing…

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Welcome to another stirring rendition of kid logic vs. parental logic. In today’s episode, look for the boy and doll to try their best to foil their parents thinking. First up, the boy!

Boy’s logic: Time and Mom.

Time is mine alone to use in whatever capacity I see fit.

Mom is always wrong.

Mom Logic: While we both occupy the same time-space continuum, we should work together to make time mutually beneficial. Why doesn’t he understand this?

In Reality: On Monday he asked his father if they could leave for school early. Since his father didn’t have to work until later that morning, he was happy to oblige. This morning he asked me if we could leave “post haste”, shortly after his shower. I had just finished my exercise program and said, “Let me take a quick 5-minute shower” and then hurried to do so. When I came back fully dressed ready to go (ten minutes later) he yelled, “I’m eating breakfast!” “What have you been doing while I was upstairs?” I asked realizing his idea of “post haste” and mine were different. Hearing him Growl back at me, I decided this was an argument not worth pursuing and went about getting myself ready for the day. Ten minutes later he was ready for school and upset with me that we didn’t leave earlier. “Bay being deliberate when you’re in a hurry works contrary to your plans,” I said. In return, he looked away leaving me to wonder what was going through his thick skull… “Why do I have to listen to her drone on about things that don’t interest me?”

Doll’s Logic: Following directions.

Mom’s directions for chores are usually pretty consistent. Why then should I pay attention and  listen to what she’s asking? She always asks me to do the same thing, blah blah blah.

Mom Logic: If you would actually pay attention to what I’m asking, I wouldn’t have to ask you more than once.

Mom’s can’t win for losing.

In Reality: Twice last week the dishwasher sat filled with clean dishes awaiting someone to unload and put them away. When I asked the doll to empty said washer, she instead loaded the dirty dishes from the sink (which were waiting for the empty dishwasher) and then ran the load again. In fact, one of the rewashes she already rewashed twice (third times the charm!). “Doll, what are you doing, those are clean dishes?” Her father asked. “No, they’re not”. She replied. “Yes, they are. I know, I’m the one who ran the load!” Her father argued. “No, they’re not. Mom told me to fill the dishwasher and run it.” She replied. “I think your mother asked you to remove the dishes and then load it with the dirty dishes in the sink,” He replied. “Whatever…” She said, turning up the music on her iPod and turning away from him, all the while continuing to load the clean dishwasher with dirty dishes.

Later in the week when I enunciated the need for her to empty the dishwasher first, before loading in the dirty dishes, she turned and said, “Stop being a bully Mom”.

Boy’s Logic: Hunger games and Mom (see above).

I don’t like to eat what my mom usually (healthy) makes, so I tell her “I’m full” that way later when I do want to eat, I can either have cereal or another peanut butter and jelly sandwich to stave off my hunger.

Mom Logic: You don’t eat my dinner, you don’t eat.

In Reality: Last night I made steak and zucchini for dinner. The boy has expressed a large disinterest for eating zucchini or any other vegetable, for that matter and upon gazing what I made for dinner, he chose to disclose, “I’m not hungry. I had a PB&J sandwich after school and am still full”. Not wishing to start an argument with him I simply replied, “Well cool, more for us. But remember, if you don’t eat now, consider yourself done for the evening”. “Okay mom” He readily agreed and disappeared back to his bedroom.

Last night at 9:30 he asked, “I’m going to make myself a bowl of cereal, okay?” “No” I replied. “You are thirty minutes from bedtime. No more food”. Disappointed he whimpered, “Okay” and left the room. A short time later, feeling a bit peckish myself, decided to offer a compromise and split an apple with him. “Bay, how about we split this apple?” I asked, showing him the object of my desire. “No thanks,” He replied. “No? Not ten minutes ago you were asking to eat cereal, but now, when I offer you a better substitute you’re turning me down?” Taking a stand he replied, “The apple skin gets caught in my braces.” “We can cut off the skin” I replied. “No thanks,” He replied again. “Why?” I asked confused. Looking at me he offered me another reason, “I don’t like the way the little pieces get stuck in my braces”. Without missing a beat, I offered, “Have you ever heard of a toothbrush bay? Or how about those Gumm sticks we have to help clean between the braces and teeth?” “I said no thank you, why can’t that ever be enough?” He replied and his anger began to rise. Not wishing to escalate the disagreement further, I said, “Whatever bay, I just don’t understand your logic”.

Looking back at me he replied, “Now you understand the trouble I have with you!” Before turning and walking into his room.

Duh. 

 

 

 

 

 

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