the hero or the goat…


As the Mean Mommy, my children’s views of me can change at the drop of the hat.  Sometimes I’m the hero, other times the goat. Sometimes I can even be both, within the span of a few seconds/minutes. Of course, the same can be said of them though I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t appreciate my characterizations, thus making me a goat forevermore.


The doll has the uncanny ability to only talk to me about “stuff”, when I’m busy doing something else, like reading, watching Castle, or writing a blog, for example. As such, if I’m engrossed in whatever I’m doing, I tend not to listen very carefully to what she is saying. Having said that however, I do know for the last few months she has been counting down to the release date of Rick Riordan’s latest book, Magnus Chase. Every once in a while she’d exclaim, “Only so and so more days until Magnus Chase! I can hardly wait!!” To which I, her unattentive mother would reply, “Oh that’s nice”. Without really caring (Mean Mommy Moment) what the hell she was so excited about.

Monday night she looked at me and said, “Oh My God!! Tomorrow mom, tomorrow!!” To which I replied, “Huh?” “Why does it not surprise me you’re not listening to me?” She scolded. “Doll all you said was tomorrow? How am I supposed to know what that means?” I argued back. “MAGNUS CHASE MOM!! The book is being released tomorrow!!” And as typical Mean mommy fashion I replied, “Oh that’s nice.” Using an exaggerated eye roll, she replied, “Would it kill ya to be happy for me?” Conpletely lost I replied, “Happy that you’re going to read another book?” “OOOMPF!!!” She over chastised me and said, “Nevermind!”

In that moment I was a goat. I failed to acknowledge how excited she was that the story she loves was within “hours” of reach. Way to go Mom!


Yesterday Mrs. K accompanied me on the many errands I run for my household of unappreciating children. As we walked into Costco, there greating us at the entrance to the store was a Magnus Chase book display. Stopping for a moment I grabbed a book to peruse. “Oh this book was released today. That’s why the doll asked me if her father could take her to the bookstore later; this morning…” I said as much to myself as to Mrs. K. Weighing whether to pick up the book now or make the doll to wait and get for herself, I absently placed the book in the cart and then moved on to finish my shopping.

Stopping briefly at home to drop off my groceries, I dropped the book on the loveseat with a note attached for the doll to call me. “MOM!!” She said into the receiver. “Hey doll, how was school?” “It was good!!” She said in a very excited voice. “Hey, the dishwasher needs to be dried and emptied and if you could throw your dirty clothes down the clothes shoot I’d appreciate it…” I explained. “OK MOM!!” She replied, the excitment in her voice palapable. After not hearing anything for a few seconds I said, “Anything else?” “Thank you for the book! I’ve already texted all my friends and they can’t believe you did this!” Having re-secured my Hero status with my doll, I explained, “Mrs. K and I saw the display at Costco and I figured the price would be better there than at the booktore”. “I still can’t believe you remembered!” She said before thanking me again and hanging up the phone.




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