Dear Mom in heaven,
I miss you, love you and want to apologize for being a dumb teenager back in the day.
Your exasperated daughter with her own 13-year-old daughter.
When I was younger, my mom drove me nuts, much like I suppose, I do my doll. Mom didn’t pronounce words right, got lyrics to songs completely wrong and generally had trouble connecting with my generation. I mean, heck, she was 40-years-old when I was born, how could there not be a disconnection there?
Today I fear, my doll harbors those same annoyances (if not more) with me.
*According to my doll, I do not pronounce the eatery, Chipotle correctly, because every time I suggest we eat there, she corrects me. “Mom, it’s Chipoltlay, not Chipotlee” “Doll does it really matter? I mean considering you know what I’m talking about and I’m offering to buy you dinner? But heck if you want to knit pick…” I’ve responded in the past. “Yes, it matters because that’s not how you pronounce the word” She’s corrected. “Potato/Potata does it change the world?” I’ve replied, annoyed by her annoyance.
*Tuesday night after quickly eating dinner, the doll and I left to see a movie. On the way there, a song playing on the radio caught my attention and I said, “The dude in this song is clearly delusional”. “What are you talking about?” She asked. “He’s telling the girl he’s going to marry her even though she’s being rude and ignoring him. Clearly he’s delusional,” I replied. “Oh My God Mom, he’s singing the song to the girl’s father. If you had heard the start of the song, then you’d know,” She explained. “bOh, well then, I stand corrected,” I replied. After parking the car, the infectious song remained in my head and I sang aloud to myself (incorrectly, I might add) “Why you gotta be so mean…” “Mom, it’s not mean, it’s rude…” She corrected. “Yep I know, but mean just sounds like the better word…” I replied and laughed while she rolled her eyes and shook her head back and forth.
*During the movie previews, she leaned over to me and said, “You’re being really loud…” Turning my head toward her, I simply looked at her. “Mom everyone around us pretty much heard you laugh and remark at that scene.” Looking back at her annoyed I replied, “Tough toenails!” And then went back to enjoying the previews. Later, when we exited the movie theater, excited by what we had just witnessed she said, “Oh mom, stop calling the movie THE Mocking Jay part two. It’s simply Mocking Jay, part two.” “Seriously, you’re correcting me over of the word THE?” I asked. “Well you’re wrong and it’s annoying to hear you constantly say it wrong,” She explained. “Whatever doll…” I said before purposely incorrectly saying, “Too bad we already ate dinner or we could go to ChipotlEE!” “Mom!!” She said as her eyes grew larger “Oh MY GOD! What is wrong with you??”