the critic…


The boy was given a weekend deadline to finish his Star Wars review before the paper went to the printer Monday afternoon. “Mom, you realize I’m doing this for fun, right?” He said to me every time I asked him if he was working on the review, rather than being connected to and distracted by, the internet. “Nonetheless, you made a commitment to write a review for them and you already missed the original deadline. Get busy, get ‘er done and be proud of what you’ve written.” I pushed.


On Friday, Mrs. K and I arrived at the school at 3:15 hoping the wait for my boy to exit the school would be short, but the boy, who took his own sweet time exiting her womb almost 17 years ago, still takes his own sweet time exiting the school. When the rear car door opened at 3:45 pm I said, “BAY, What the…” but was cut off by his apology, “I’m sorry Mom, sorry Mrs. K, I couldn’t help it…” “Bay, you know I have better things to do than sit here for forty-five minutes waiting for you…” I said. “I have a good reason, though…” He tried. “Who were you talking with today?” I asked, as his usual excuse for not leaving the school in a timely manner is that he was enjoying a conversation with someone.

“When I was leaving Religion class, Ms. Peeples approached me and said, ‘We will mince words after school…'” He smiled at the memory. “Why’s that?” I wondered–I don’t even know who that teacher is, frankly. “She’s a teacher who read my review of Star Wars and took umbrage with how many stars I gave the film. So after school I went back to her classroom to discuss the movie and why I only gave it 8.5 out of 10 stars and then we ended up having a conversation about a whole list of other movies. So you see, I wasn’t late on purpose”. He replied, paused and then added, “Whats more, I think I’ve made a new friend”.

“Do you have a copy of the newspaper?” I asked so I could read his review (and save the copy or posterity) and he replied, “Yes, but it’s not my best work…” “Because you procrastinated getting it done…” I added. “Mom, could we hold a moratorium on what you think I should have done please?” He asked and I laughed before adding, “So long as you don’t take forty-five minutes to an hour leaving the school, without calling and telling us you’re going to be late, first”

He grumbled and then said “Deal” as we continued our car ride home.


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