intimate moments

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The other day, the doll walked briskly past me on her way to the refrigerator. So quick were her movements that I didn’t even recognized my girl as she passed. Dumbfounded I just stood there and watched as she knelt down to open the freezer door to put some groceries away. Sensing my stare, she turned, stood and looked back puzzled at me and asked, “What?” Shaking my head, I replied, “Nothing, only for a moment there I didn’t recognize my baby”. “Oh,” She replied a bit perplexed by my statement but nonetheless continued putting groceries away.

*****

She was curled up in a blanket, seated in the chair while using her raised knees as a resting spot for her iPod; while she looked down upon the device. Across the room seated on the loveseat, I looked over to see if she were falling asleep. The doll’s sleeping habits are still nothing to write home about, especially when she tends to fall asleep immediately after school (for several hours), thus keeping her up the rest of the night. All of a sudden, she looked back at me and asked, “What?” “Nothing,” I began “I was just making sure you hadn’t fallen asleep”.

Nodding slightly, she raised her head a little and asked, “Do you think I have big hands or little hands?”  “Um, I don’t know. In comparison to your friends or just in general?” I asked. “In general…” She replied. Thinking for the briefest of moments, I replied, “I think you have small hands like me. But your dad has small hands (for a man) too so you probably land somewhere in between,” Nodding briefly, she said, “Do you think my hand is bigger than yours?” Pondering the question I replied, “I don’t know, let’s check,” and then I moved across the room and lifted my left hand to hers.

I was transported back through time, remembering every time we demonstrated this same exercise, as my doll grew in age. “Look, mommy, I’m this big” she used to say every time we placed our hands together. Her eyes would grow larger as she noticed the difference from one age to the next while I relished in the knowledge she was still my small little girl whose life was so far out into the future.

“They look to be the same size,” she said. “Are you sure?” I asked, trying desperately to extend my fingers out longer, but to no avail. “Do you remember when we used to do this when you were a baby?” I asked. “Mom, really? We did this like two years ago…” She replied a little appalled at my assertion. “Doll, remember,  you’ll always be my baby, regardless”. Taking notice of my sentimentality, she added, “Perhaps mine aren’t as large as yours…” Smiling back, I replied, “Regardless their size, the girl they’re attached to is what’s most important”.

img_2416She half smiled and then went back to watching videos on her device, while leaving me to ponder just when my baby blossomed into the beautiful young woman before me.

Happy 14-birthday Doll, February 13.

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