Over the weekend, blustery winds wiped out our power and all hell broke loose. The boy stood over the toaster, trying to figure out why his English muffin wasn’t browning and heating up, when I said to him, “Dude, we lost power”. Unable to hear me due to the loud content playing in his ears via headphones, he continued to press the toaster plunger down, becoming frustrated when the device wouldn’t engage. “MOM WE MIGHT NEED A NEW TOASTER,” He informed. “Bay. We lost power.” I tried. He offered no reply or acknowledgement that he heard me, so I tried again, this time, a little louder, “BAY WE LOST POWER. HELLO…? BAY!” I said raising my voice louder. Startled, he pulled the headphones from his ears, looked at me and said in a normal tone, “I’m just trying to brown up my English muffin”.
Trying not to laugh at the absurdity of this situation, I looked back at him and said, “Dude, how loud is the music you’re listening to? I’ve been telling you since you entered the kitchen the power is down. No matter how hard you press that button, you’re bread will not toast.” The message was really brought home to him when the program he had been listening to abruptly came to an end, leaving radio silence in his ears. “Hey, we lost Wi-Fi” He announced perplexed. Giving him a deadpanned look I replied, “Bay, no power…no wifi.”
Noticing my smartphone, he asked, “Why is your iPhone still working?” “Perhaps because this is a phone working on cellular power,” I answered and cut him to the quick when he asked, “Can I borrow your phone then?” “Bay, I pay for my data plan and you’ll blow all my minutes in a very short amount of time surfing the internet, therefore the answer is no”. “Oh. Hardly seems fair…” He said exiting the room. “Hey, since you’re involuntarily disconnected from the internet, how about we do something else…like clean?” I offered. “I would…” the boy began, “But since you’re not willing to share your cellular data with me, I don’t feel inclined to share my Saturday with you cleaning”. “Okay, if that’s the game you want to play, we’ll play. But if I remember right, your birthday is next weekend. Since you rarely remember to give me anything for my birthday, I don’t feel inclined to give you anything either…” I said and walked back into the kitchen.
A short time later he helped me clean by clearing cobwebs off the ceiling all around the living room.