As we wandered around the video store, the girls squealed with delight every time they found a movie title they had already seen, “Aunt Marsha, can we get this one, we saw it at a sleepover a while back, it’s sooo funny…” They said. “This is rated R, no we will not rent this one…” “But we already saw the movie…” Mary argued. “Then you don’t need to see it again…” I said, the doll shaking her head unhappy I would not relent. “Mom, there’s been plenty of times we watched R rated movies with you before…” She argued. “That was then, this is different…” I replied, my own mother’s voice echoing in my head. “How?” She asked. “It just is… Hey, I’m the mom here and as a mom and woman, I have the prerogative to change my mind. Find another movie…” I replied, shaking my head thinking, “When the hell did I turn into my mom?”
In any case, we arrived home and put the first movie, “The Boy”, in to watch. “Aunt Marsha, could you please stay in here with us?” Ellie asked. “I’ll be right here in the kitchen, watching…” I said. “No, could you please just watch it in here with us?” She pleaded. “Okay…” I said as the other two sighed-tho I’m not sure if it was in relief or not. As the opening scene played across the television, I said, “Oh look it’s Maggie from the Walking Dead. She’ll be able to dispatch whatever is out there, Maggie is fierce. Hey Maggie, where’s Glenn?” “Mom, if you don’t stop making Walking Dead references, swear to God I’m going to punch you…” The doll offered… “Uh huh, like to see you try…” I said, but stopped joking around so they could get busy screaming at the movie.
There is nothing quite like watching a scary movie with teenagers. One minute they’re laughing, the next screaming, “Don’t go in there, don’t go in there, why are they going in there!!” all the while I’m laughing, “Because that’s what happens in scary movies…” “Mom, shush…” The doll ordered. “Aunt Marsha, why are you laughing?” Ellie asked. “Because it’s better exercise than screaming…” I replied. Then when the movie came to its conclusion, they began taking apart their fears and analyzing the movie. “I don’t get it, why did they have that dumb doll?” Mary asked. “Because it kept you on the edge of your seat. If they didn’t you wouldn’t have been scared…” That movie was dumb…” all three concluded.
For the record, it was dumb and delightful, for me.
Ellie decided to play it safe for movie number two and promptly fell asleep. The other two and I watched “Ratted” and this movie wasn’t so much scary as creepy. If anything, the girls and I are now a little more wary of social media and cameras on laptops, televisions and phones, and living alone in New York City with only one lock on the door. Regardless, when that movie ended, I noticed the time was tilting toward 3 am and I declared I was done. The girls placed one more movie–a comedy to watch as I climbed the stairs to bed.
“What time did you two fall asleep?” I asked later that morning. “Shortly after that third movie went in,” the doll said. “Yeah, it was slow moving and so we both just crashed,” Mary added. Good to know you got some sleep…” I added before asking, “So what do you want to do today?” Almost in unison, the girls declared, “GO TO THE MALL…”
Which coincidentally is my worst nightmare come true: teenage girls at the mall.
God help me…