Last Thursday, following a doctor’s appointment, I knew something was off with my mood so I tried my best to avoid my kids. “Mom, what are you doing?” The doll asked after finding me seated on our front stoop, looking at my iPhone. “Avoiding getting anyone mad at me,” I replied. “Okay?” She replied and closed the door. “Mom?” The boy asked timidly through the screen door, “Is everything alright?” “YES, I’M FINE! CAN’T I HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE?” I barked in reply. “uh, sure…” he quietly responded and closed the front door.
Later, when I drove him to an ACT prep course, we discussed his nearing future school year–a subject he is not interested in talking about. You need to lose weight and begin exercising. I can’t be the only one pushing you here, you have to take control of yourself and try to get healthy. You only have six months before you have to register for the draft…” “They won’t take me…” he replied. “Are you kidding? If there’s a need for a body, you’ll be sent,” I said. “I’ll get a deferment for my poor vision…” He tried. “Ha! You have Astigmatism, BFD, there are plenty of soldiers out there with worse vision than you…” I replied. “I do have Asperger’s…” he tried. “Yeah, they won’t give a hoot what you have so long as they have a body to throw at the front line. My point here bay, is it’s time to start paying attention and preparing yourself for your future. One of those ways is to actively pursue losing weight before you enter college. Take personal responsibility for who you are….”
My lecture lasted from the time we left the house until we pulled up to the front of school and then resumed on our drive home. A short time later he informed me his grandmother would be over shortly to (save him from the wrath of mom) take him for the weekend. The doll looked around and sighed. She was stuck with me.
Later that night, I apologized to both my husband and doll explaining I didn’t feel well, tho it did not excuse my lousy behavior. Both accepted and offered hugs in forgiveness, while I tried not revert to previous form. The boy’s apology came Sunday after he returned home followed by a wonderful hug from the big lug. Thankfully my family can see through my bad moods and find me underneath to still love.
While we’re talking about apologies, yesterday, I complained in my blog about the boredom spell my children appear to be under. At lunch yesterday I gave them a good piece of my mind, trying to push them either outside and down the street to swim or to clean our house. The entire time I talked to them they kept asking me to not yell. “I’m not yelling. If I were, you’d know the difference…” I replied, realizing I was talking loudly (natural voice tone), but sternly toward them. When I went back to work, I held out little hope I would come home to a clean house.
But I was wrong. When I entered the house, I hardly recognized the joint.