Last week, in the wee hours of the morning, I jumped from my slumber, raised my right arm and lunged toward my alarm clock, presumably to turn hit the snooze button. The problem being, the alarm was not set to go off for another three hours. Realizing this, I stood for a moment dumbfounded, wondering what I was doing before I jumped back into bed. My stay in there was minimal, since all that jumping around awoke my bladder and to the bathroom I walked. When I returned to bed, my husband asked, “Are you okay?” “I don’t remember what made me jump from the bed in the first place…” I replied, closing my eyes hoping to go back to sleep. “The dog woke up first…” He began. “What?” I asked, perturbed. Couldn’t he tell I was trying to go back to sleep. “Well, the dog woke first, shook her head and her tags jingled then you jumped out bed…” He explained, trying to hide the laughter in his voice. Without missing a beat I replied, “Figures, just like the rest of us, her timing is off…”
There are few things that can put me in a good mood at 6:30 in the morning. However, recently I have found listening to the doll order her brother from bed (on school days) one of them. This morning was a particularly enjoyable bouquet. After knocking on his door for several seconds she yelled, “BAY! YOU NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER, GET UP. YESTERDAY WE WERE LATE AND IT WAS YOUR FAULT. GET UP, GET IN THE SHOWER, GET MOVING!!” A moment later, he emerged from his room, snarked something at his sister before entering the bathroom and jumping into the shower.
“I never would have pegged you as the alarm clock….” I said when I came downstairs. “He’s supposed to take a shower everyday and I like having a few extra minutes at school before class begins,” She barked at me. “I hear ya,” I said, “I just never pegged you as the one getting up first and pushing him. You’ve always been my ‘sleeper inner’ and he’s always been my early riser. Somehow there’s been a role reversal going on,” I said.
Looking at me squarely, she replied, “Mum, I’ve always been the responsible one…” Smiling back at her I replied, “Yes, you have been… the one responsible for teaching him how to lie…” The corner of her eyes squinted in amusement before she replied, “Oh, yeah, sorry about that…” in acknowledgement. “Doll, the start of your high school tenure as the morning alarm clock strikes me funny, that’s all,” I said. “Well, the job really belongs to you,” She said. “Nah, I like how my predecessor is handling things. I mean heck, I get to keep from straining my voice yelling first thing, not to mention remain in a good mood on the drive to school and best of all, I get to sleep in later than last year. You’re a better alarm clock than me,” I said and then patted the top of her head as I walked past.
Turning around as she sized up what I just said, she replied, “WAIT!! I RESIGN!” “Sorry doll, the position is filled until next fall. Thank you!” I said and hurriedly walked out of the room.