Two weeks ago, I arrived home from Mass to find my husband busily working on the laptop. When I entered the kitchen he said, “I’ve booked the two of us on a quick getaway vacation to Myrtle Beach in two weeks, what do you say?” “What?” I replied at first, before I changed it to a tentative, “Sure,” and then began finding those rare folks who would be interested in taking our kids for the weekend. Fortunately, we didn’t have to look too far.
Saturday, while my hubby and I were seated inside the Marsh View Seafood restaurant awaiting our food, my cell phone rang, presumably from my mother in law. Hello Pat,” I said. Instead the boy’s voice boomed out saying, “Mom it’s me. I can’t seem to get in the front door. Thinking her may have forgotten his key I asked, “Doesn’t your grandmother have a key?” “Im using hers, but the door isn’t unlocking…” He answered employing a frustrated tone. “Okay, tell me what you did…” I said and then listened to him explain how the door lock came to be jammed. “Okay give me a minute to think…” I began and then asked him, “How d’your ACT exam go?” “Huh? Ooo KAY I guess…” He reluctantly replied. “What did you do last night with Uncle Bill?” I asked. “We went to dinner, played cards, watched TV and went to bed,” he curtly replied and then added, “What does this have to do with opening the front door? I didn’t call you to socialize, Mom”. Taking a deep breath I replied, “Listen you little (fill in the blanks) considering I’m almost a thousand miles away from you, don’t you think it would be in your best interest to stop acting like an asshole and simply answer my questions while I try and figure out how to get you in the door?”
After a pause, he apologized and began answering my seemingly random mundane questions, until I felt we were both ready to open the door in a calm manner.
“Okay, now I want you to grab the door handle and pull it close to you with your left hand…” I said. “I already tried that,” he impatiently replied. “Bay, for the love of God, shut up and do as you’re told, okay? Now pull the door handle toward you and with your right hand, slowly turn the key, jiggling the key enough to engage the tumblers, but not enough to break the key off in the lock; all at the same time. “It’s…” He began and I replied, “Patience bud, keep trying…”
A minute later he happily announced he had saved the day, by opening the door and immediately disconnected the phone call. Looking at my now silent iPhone, I said, “You’re welcome, love you too…” before setting down the phone to eat my lunch.