Over the weekend, both my children, teenagers; incorrectly assumed they were smarter than their mother.
First the doll challenged me to a word scramble game on the Internet. After beating her the first game she asked, “I don’t understand where you’re coming up with these odd words…” I laughed and then gave her some “pointers” on how to find some similar words within the puzzle. When I beat her the third time, she said, “I don’t understand how you beat me”. Her father piped in sarcastically “Are you beating my daughter?” “Yes I am,” I replied to him, then turned my attention back to my doll, “Why would you think that?” “I don’t know, maybe because I read more books than you,” she replied. “Ah, yes you do. But I read newspapers online everyday, in addition to playing Scrabble with Mrs K and Words with Friends and Word Scramble with my friends. Oh but let’s forget all that for a moment and let me remind you, I am thirty-seven years older than you–plenty of time to learn all sorts of things before you arrived.”
She looked back at me and said, “That’s true..” Paused then added, “Your turn,” signifying the start of another game.
For the boy’s attempt at being smarter than his mother, I found him seated at my kitchen table eating a bag of crackers. This is of course after he had already eaten two bags of Gold Fish crackers and two Fiber One granola bars. “Bay! What are you eating now?” I asked. “Mom, I missed lunch…” He replied. “But you ate dinner…” I countered. “I’m still hungry…” He came back. “No more junk food dude, try an apple or banana not these single complex carbs…” I returned and then added, “Or instead, next time do yourself a favor and drink a bottle of water. This way, the water will fill you up and keep you from eating all the junk!” Looking back at me he said, “That’s not true…”
Before I continue, let me tell you, my son underestimates me all the time. If I had a nickel for every time I said something he deemed false because it didn’t agree with his thinking, his college bill would be paid in full. As such, I let him in on some wise wisdom for the next time he chose to challenge his mother.
“You know, you and your sister are under the assumption that I’m an idiot who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Let me inform you to the contrary. Just because you don’t see me reading books, does not mean I don’t read. In addition, in the thirty-four years I lived in this earth before you arrived, I learned quite a few things. One is that you don’t question your Mother’s experience over your own “knowledge” or lack thereof, and Two, regardless whether I happen to be right or wrong, I will always be right for the simple fact that I’m your mother. Do you understand?”
He nodded. “Now get out of my kitchen–it’s closed for the night. Oh and bay, if you happen to find yourself hungry a little later on…” He held out his hand to stop me as he reached down and grabbed a bottle of water, then replied, “yeah, yeah, I got it mom…” And then exited the room.