Back in the day, I took great pleasure in making my mom look bad to others. Yes, horrible as this sounds, as a teenager, I enjoyed telling my friends how dumb my mother really was, “I mean she can’t pronounce the word ‘Italians” correctly…” I’d say, among many other not so nice things.
Well, all things being equal and having a pain in the butt teenage daughter as well, guess what? I am now the butt of her jokes. What’s more, she doesn’t even hide she’s doing so. Instead, she takes great pleasure in scolding me about how dumb I am. “Mum, that’s now what they said, you always infer more than what was actually said…” or “Mum, the place is called Chipotlay not Chopotlee. I don’t know how many times I have to repeat this to you…” Two weeks ago as I drove Allie and the doll to a football game, I overheard her say, “Did I tell you what my mom did?” and then proceed to fill her in on some faux pas I made in her eyes. Judging from the giggles coming from the back seat to the front, I’m either the laughing stock of the free world or the world’s funniest person with very broad shoulders.
“Doll, as a human being I am prone to make mistakes…” I told her yesterday after the umpteenth correction. “Mum, seriously, you need to pay better attention…” She tried. “Tell me, I was in the kitchen having an innocent conversation with your father, about something you and I watched, but I wasn’t talking to you about the show, I was talking to him. What business is this or yours whether I used the exact wording as the character on the show, especially when the conversation has nothing to do with you?” “You always do this though,” She replied. “But I wasn’t talking to you….”
“You two need to leave the room…” Her father ordered, trying to get back to lurking on my Facebook page in peace. “So you’re not going to defend me against this monster of a daughter?” I asked as she took an offended stance. “Nope, I’m staying neutral,” He replied again. Looking back pointedly at the both of them I replied, “All things being cyclical, a time will come when your daughter bullies you, calls you dumb, etc., and I hope you’ll remember this conversation”. “Mom, I don’t think you’re dumb really, just, well, wrong, All.The.Time,” She explained with a smile. “Uh huh…” I said before turning to address her father, “And as for you Mr., I’ll deal with you later…” then began to exit the room.
Before I was completely out of ear shot, her father lamented, “Jeez thanks a lot doll, you got me in trouble…” Shrugging her shoulders, she asked, “Aren’t you always in trouble?” He thought for a moment and replied, “Good point”. “I heard that!” I yelled back and they both burst into laughter.