mom bashing 101…


My family has reached a juncture where the kids find picking on me, not only an every day event, but also their duty. Much of their pokes have to do with how I pronounce or enunciate words. If you recall, a few weeks back, they both mistook my pronunciation of the word “phase” for “face” and then continued to “correct” me, over my objections. That is just one in the vast see of their mistakes. “Mom, you said, this…” The doll said laughing. “No I didn’t you must have wax in your ears…” I argue. “No, you misspeak all the time,” She replied. “I think I know what I said, so there must be something wrong with your ability to hear me…” I shot back. “Then what’s the boy’s excuse for hearing the same thing I did?” She tried. “You’re both in need of an ear cleaning…”

As you can see, I am under a constant attack by the enunciation police…

The other night, I decided to stream the new Star Trek movie, “Star Trek-Beyond,” and made the mistake of attributing the the nemesis of the show to the race of Cardassians. Except, when I announced who they were I said, “Oh my God, their Kardashians…” but realized I made a mistake almost immediately. “No, wait…” I tried to correct but it was too late, as both kids began laughing. “Mom, I don’t think so…” The doll said. “No, no,” I said, before laughing at my faux pas, I meant the Cardassians? Bay, isn’t that the name of one of their frenemies?” I asked, but he was too busy laughing and making fun of me to listen or reply. “Mom, I don’t think even the Star Trek writers could invent a family as campy as the Kardashians,” My doll replied. “Listen, I’ve been watching Star Trek much longer than you both. I’ve watched every episode from The Next generation to Voyager, so don’t tell me I’m wrong…” I said, pulling out my iPhone to verify the name. “Fine, CardaSSians, not Shians… but I was close!!” I said, looking for vindication. Instead I was met with a light tap on the head by my doll who added, “Face it Mom, you’re losing your marbles.

Looking back at her I replied, “Considering who I’m currently surrounded by can you blame me?”

No reply. “Sure now you’re quiet…” I added as a smile crossed my doll’s face, before we turned our attention back to the movie playing in the back ground.


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