“Sorry, I was having an in depth conversation about crushes” I read the text my doll sent while awaiting her and the boy to exit the school. Smiling, I texted back, “??? Lol” and then waited anxiously for her to fill me in. By the time she reached the car, she joined Mrs. K, myself and her brother for the ride home. However, what is ordinarily a rather mundane car ride home was anything but, as my doll unloaded all her teenage angst to me about the problem with having crushes.
****as an aside to this blog, I’d also like to admit, I love that she feels safe enough to confide in me****
“Well it all began when Carly and I were talking about crushes and she asked me who mine was. I told her I’d tell her, only if she told me the name of hers-that way we’d be bound by this and not to tell others,” She said and I laughed, knowing her story was going to be a good one. “Well, I told her she needed to guess and guess what? She said his name right off!” “How did she know J was your crush?” I asked and then all hell broke loose.
The boy, who usually enjoys his car rides home in relative peace (headphones are wonderful at toning out others) must have left his headphones at home because he looked at his sister and asked, “You have a crush on J?” “MOM HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS???” She said and honestly when she screamed “MOM” the car actually shook! “What? Wait, what did I do?” I asked. “YOU SAID HIS NAME OUT LOUD!!” She replied as her brother began asking, “You have a crush on J? “Hasn’t your brother been in the car all year long…?” I asked talking over her brother, before backing away and saying, “I’m sorry, I thought your brother knew this and I didn’t mean to spill the beans, I’m sorry”, hoping my conciliatory reply would encourage her to continue filling me in with her news. Her brother, smiling at the reaction he evoked from her said, “I’m really good at keeping secrets… (pregnant pause) …for a price,” and then smiled as she turned and hit him. “I’m just kidding. Listen I have a ton of secrets from girls at school who find me endearing. I won’t tell him anything…” He said and then added, “For a price…” and then added, “Just kidding. I’ll protect your secret-you’re my little sister, otherwise that would make me an asshole…”
“Language!” I said, hoping to break up their conversation so she would get back to telling me the juicy details…and she did. “Okay, so Carly said she knew I had a crush on J because my face goes flush every time someone mentions his name, but I don’t think that’s true. However, I could feel my face turn red while we were discussing it…” She explained. “So…who is her crush?” I asked. “I don’t know, because Mary approached and asked us what we were talking about and why my face was so red?”
“And you told her what…?” I asked.
“Carly told her we were talking about crushes and she had to guess who mine was…” My doll said, shaking her head. “And?” I asked in return. “Well at first she asked if he was in a class that we shared and when I said yes, she began naming off all the boys in the class…” She explained. “Then when she came to J, I must have made a non verbal sign, because she said, “OMG it’s J?” and I tried to shrug it off, but was betrayed by my reddening, blushing face. In fact, Mary said knowing this made more sense because at mass today, during the “Our Father,” I had (got) to hold J’s hand and apparently my face blushed then–well according to them anyway,” She explained. “Was his hand sweaty?” I asked. “Yes,” She replied without thought. “Hormones make for sweaty hands around the opposite sex….” I said laughing. “Please mom, all teenagers have sweaty hands regardless…” She argued.
I couldn’t help myself. I laughed out loud, soaking in every morsel of information she was giving me and ate it up with a fork and spoon. The rest of the car ride home was filled with her gushing, giggling and reddening face at the possibility of her crush J finding out from either her brother or girl friends at school.
Over the weekend, every once and a while she would say something like, “I can’t believe Carly already knew…” Or “J follows me on Instagram and posts all kinds of pictures during class…” To which I replied, “Maybe he likes you too?” “Please mom, he barely knows I’m alive…” She replied but then turned trying to hide the smile creasing her face. “Whatever doll…” I replied, pretending not to notice.