the crush…

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Don’t you find calling someone a “crush” interesting especially since that person could literally crush your hopes and dreams with one unkind remark; if they were ever to find out?

In the first week of Freshman year, my doll found herself “crushing” on a boy whom she happened to share three of seven classes with. “Mom, he’s so funny, and cute…” She told me as we drove home one day. Wondering what he looked like she described him as such, “Dark hair and black rimmed glasses”. “So he looks like Harry Potter?” I asked amused. “No, he’s missing that horecrux scar atop his head,” she replied and we both smiled. Then over the course of the year, I became acquainted with the nice young man–not in person mind you, but rather after she pointed him out to me.

Toward the end of Freshman year, as her friends sat around talking about their crushes, my doll, let it slip about “J”. Since then, they’ve been working overtime trying to get their favorite gal pal and this nice, funny young man together, much to my doll’s happiness and horror. “What are they doing to me?” She’s lamented on more than one occasion, following the fun disclosure from school. “Alexa pushed me into J at a pep rally and claimed it was an accident…” She mock complained. “Did he say anything to you?” I asked. “I don’t know, I was too busy slinking away and embarrrassed to notice,” She replied. “Too bad, you never know when sparks may fly….” I replied and was slapped across the arm in return.

This year, my doll gets to share two classes with J and still finds him dreamy. What’s more, her friends have also stepped up their game to push them together. Of course, I wouldn’t be a mean mommy, if I didn’t partake in some of the fun… Arriving late to pick her up from school, I noticed J sitting outside, presumably waiting for his ride too. Instead of pulling up in front of where she sat, I parked in front of J. As she opened the car door I leaned back and said, “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to J?” Watching a mortified look cross her face, she jumped into the backseat, quickly closing the door behind her. “MOM! Did he hear you?” She asked in a semi yell and screech. “I don’t think I was nearly as loud as you are now dear,” I replied as she threw her head into her hands and sighed heavily. “I can’t believe you did that!” She said, though muffled by her hands. “Did what?” I replied again and was greeted with, “Why do you persist in making my life difficult?”  Which helped produce an even wider smile.

Last week as we drove to school after a 2-hr delay, I happened to notice J was in the car behind us. As I pulled into the school dropoff sight, I said, “Hey, J is in the car behind us…” and for the life of me, I’ve never seen my doll grab her belongings and jump out of the car so quickly. “Wow!” I said and was met with a “Stop!” before she turned and walked quickly into the building, trying her best not to walk slow enough for him to catch up, or even pass pass her. I sat there simply amused by the sight.

“Mom, I overheard C and J talking about dates for homecoming. According to C, he’s asking someone…” She began. “Maybe that’s you…?” I replied. “No, C remarked how she wasn’t in our class,” She replied sadly. “Well, too bad for him doll. Besides aren’t you going with your girlfriends?” I asked. “Yes, but, sigh…” after a moment she paused and added, “I think it’s important to date while in high school–I mean, not find your soulmate or forever person, but to help you practice for when you reach college and beyond. I just think it would be nice to go out on some dates…” 

I nodded my head, listening to her thesis on the virtues of dating in High School with interest. At fifteen she’s never been on a date, let alone kissed a boy. My doll has a good head on her shoulders and we’ve shared some good conversations about the human hormonal responses to dating. However, this prompted me to reply, what I have learned from high school dating. “I know two couples from my High School class who dated all through school and married and remarkably, are still married today. I also know several others who married after high school and divorced five years later. So High School can be important in the dating scheme. But, don’t put so much importance on the idea, that you ruin the process, okay?”

A few days later she told me, “J doesn’t have a date for Homecoming”. “Hmm, his date fell through?” I asked. Shrugging her shoulders, she said, “I don’t know…” “Maybe he’ll go to the dance on his own…?” I said in return. “Maybe, I’m just happy I won’t have to see him be monopolized by one girl,” she replied. “Doll…” “Gotcha!” She said then laughed, before seemingly changing subjects until ten minutes later, showing me a secret video Alexa had taken of J in Science… “Isn’t he cute and funny?” She gushed. 

Oh brother….

 

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