the friend zone…


Toward the end of the last school year, a boy at school asked my doll–via text message, if she was interested in going out on a date with him. Seeing that this boy was not the “crush” and not quite knowing how she felt about him, she replied, “I’d rather just stay friends…” Coming into the kitchen that night, she said, “I just sent a boy to the ‘Friendzone'”, and then explained to me what she meant. “I mean he’s nice enough, but, I don’t like him that way, so I told him I just wanted to remain his friends (hence the ‘friendzone’ designation)”.

A few weeks ago, following a football game, I said, “Hey, I saw your friendzone kid at the game… he’s kind of cute…” She gave me annoyed look before adding, “Ew, mom, he already has a girlfriend and again, I’m not interested,” She replied. “I’m not saying nothing, other than he’s gotten a little cuter over the summer, that’s all,” I explained. “Yeah, whatever, mom,” She replied dismissively.

Homecoming, the annual fall dance is fast approaching and the doll and her friends have decided to forgo dates, and just attend as a group of girls. Except, there are other forces at work. “What would you do if  “J” asked you to the dance?” I asked about her crush. “He’s taking someone else– I overheard he and C talking in Latin, how the girl he was going to ask was in another class,” She replied. “What if anyone else did?” I offered. “Oh, I don’t think anyone else will…” She answered.

So over the course of the last three weeks, via in person conversation and text messages, the girls have been putting together the final pieces of their group “date” for homecoming–which sounds like a really good time. Except, the doll was asked to the dance by another boy–one she also designated to “Friendzone”.

The plot thickens…

“Braden just sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to homecoming as “friends”,” She began. “What did you tell him?” I wondered. “First I checked with all the other girls if it would be okay if he joined our group, and then I told him about our plans to attend as one big group,” he finished. “So, what does this mean?” I asked. “What do you mean?” She looked back at me perplexed. “Is he aware that you consider this a group date?” “That’s what I told him and he seemed fine,” She replied. “Well okay,” I replied, preferring to drop the inquisition for the time being.

But…as her mother, I do believe another motive is on the table…

Over the summer, Braden invited doll to a pool party he was throwing for his “friends”. However, according to her, not only would she have been the only girl, quite possibly the only person from their Freshman class to attend. Feeling uncomfortable, I told her to either say, ‘No’ and blame it on me or ask if you could bring additional girl friends along, to satisfy your mom’s worry as well as her own. In the end, she chose to blame me for not allowing her to attend. Now this same boy has invited her to the dance as “friends” which makes me wonder if he’s hoping for more and using the “friendzone” as a blind.

“Doll, have you talked with Braden about the dance and stuff?” I asked. “A little. I mean, I’ve told him about our plans to get pictures together, then we’re going to eat at Panera’s before heading over to the dance and he’s invited to come with us. But nothing has been set in stone yet,” she explained. “Do you think he might be expecting you to be his  real “date”? I asked. “You and Kay are on the same page, she’s been teasing me that I have a date, whereas I keep telling her we’re just friends. Mom, I don’t see Braden any other way, than a friend. I’m sure, I’ll dance with him a little, but I’m going to be having fun with my friends,” she naively replied.

“Okay, but hear me out K? What, if Braden used the line “Friends” to get you to say yes, but is really thinking about this as a date? I mean he did invite only you to that pool party over the summer. He might actually like you differently than you believe…” She looked back at me with a mortified look upon her face. “I never thought of it that way….” “I mean, I could be wrong and he might just see you as a friend. But you need to be careful with his feelings…” Nodding as my words sunk in, she turned, looked at me and said, “Why does everything have to be so complicated?”

Welcome to life baby!






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